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Whoa. He was addressing this directly. I didn’t expect that.
“It was my first time,” I reminded him. “I just didn’t know how it’s normally handled. Do you shake hands? Exchange business cards? I guess phone numbers would’ve been a good start.”
“You thanked me,” he said, looking down at his food.
“I totally get it.” I sighed. “I’m just…awkward. It’s something you need to know about me.”
He smiled. “Does that mean you want me in your life after tonight?”
I tilted my head. “I don’t know. Let’s see how your cooking is.”
That lightened the mood, which turned out to be exactly what we needed. It allowed me to take a breath and enjoy the steak, which was delicious.
“I’ve never been rejected before,” he said. “When you left the other day, it was a kick in the balls.”
My eyes widened as I took a bite of potato. Men didn’t usually talk like that in front of me. I kind of liked his openness.
I didn’t reject him. We’d figured that out already. But as we sat here, a new fear was emerging. What if it was all about the chase for him? What if he caught me, then lost interest?
“You’re telling me, in your entire life, no woman has turned you down?” I asked.
He thought about that for a second. “My ex-fiancée did at first, but it was early on. We hadn’t slept together yet.” He winced. “Sorry, I guess it’s rude to talk about that sort of thing on a first date.”
I shoved away my momentary happiness over him referring to this as a date. I needed to protect myself here and to do that, I had to get some more information.
“So you were engaged?”
He nodded. “For four years.”
My eyebrows arched. “Four years.”
He stopped chewing and looked at me for a long moment. Then he swallowed and set down his fork, wiping his mouth.
“Not my choice. She pushed for an engagement, so I gave her the ring and then dragged my feet on going through with it.”
The food I’d eaten seemed to sit like a large lump in my stomach. Red flags all around. I’d be an idiot to ignore them.
“So you broke it off?” I asked.
“Yes.” He sighed. “I’m not proud of it, but things just weren’t feeling right.”
I tilted my head, searching for the words to ask my questions without being rude. On the surface, this was none of my business. Who was I to judge the love life of someone I’d just met, even if I’d slept with him?
“So, how did you end up dating in the first place?” I asked.
“I was just out of the military, trying to put down roots. I went straight back to my hometown of Nashville. We met on a blind date and…” He shrugged. “She was hot. All my friends were impressed I was dating her, but the emotional connection wasn’t there. You know what I mean?”
I didn’t, really. My experience with dating had been limited. But if I really thought about it, that was how I could chalk up my experience. It had never quite seemed right with any guy I met.
Until Grayson.
“Sometimes there’s just a connection with someone,” he said. “You can’t put it into words. It’s what I’ve been looking for all my life.”
I looked up at him again, and he was staring at me. The intensity of his words matched his expression. That should have eased my fears, but it didn’t.
“I know,” I said.
“Know what?”
