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Being with Louie and only Louie for so long… I’d begun to forget that.
For a long time, he visited me nightly. Sometimes even staying in my bed until I fell asleep.
Lately, though, he’d been busy with family business and that came first. It always came first.
And I understood that. We weren’t mates. We weren’t married. I wasn’t even sure if I was the only omega he spent time with. I hoped I was…but I couldn’t ask. Honestly, I didn’t want to know. It wasn’t my place to expect such a thing. But when it was just me and Louie, alone in my room, and he held me like I was important, he made me feel like I was the only person in the world.
More important than his family. More important than his duties. More important than everything.
“You okay?” Joey put his hand on my shoulder, reminding me he was there and that I was not truly alone with my thoughts. “You don’t look so great.”
I pasted on a grin. “Thanks.”
“You know what I mean.” He placed the back of his hand on my forehead, ever the mother hen. “You don’t feel warm, but maybe you’re coming down with something? How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine.” I sighed and shoved the iPad back into his hand. “Just a little sad.” Since Joey had joined the family, I felt as if I had a true friend for the first time in my life.
“Oh, sweetie.” Joey pushed the iPad to the side of the bed and turned to face me more fully. “Why are you sad? What’s wrong?”
I felt silly talking about Louie as if he were my boyfriend, but Joey knew everything, and I really needed to talk to someone. “Louie hasn’t been by all week, and I don’t know when I’ll see him next.”
“Yeah, Andro has been crazy busy, too.” He placed his hand on my knee and gave it a squeeze. “But it’s for our safety. As long as other families are trying to challenge us for power, we’re not safe.” He placed his hand on his tiny baby bump. “We all have to be strong while our alphas do their jobs.”
Our alphas. That might have been true for him, but Louie wasn’t mine. Even if I wanted him to be.
“I know.” I did my best to shake off my melancholy. “And it’s fine. He’ll come by when he can. I can be patient.” I picked up the iPad and brought up the list we were working on.
Since joining the family, Joey had taken on some of the household responsibilities. Managing the omegas in the house was one of them. “So, do all the new omegas have their rooms sorted or do we need to send some to the lake house?”
Joey knew I was intentionally changing the subject, and he let me. There wasn’t anything either of us could do about the situation, so staying busy with household projects was the best way to avoid dwelling on the worst-case scenarios. And since he had become the de facto family liaison to the harem, we had a lot of new tasks related to moving people around and making sure everyone was comfortable while we were on temporary lockdown at the estate. “I think we’re good for the few coming this week. But if this goes on much longer, we might send a few to the lake or the winter cabin. We’ll have to see how things go.”
My phone buzzed with a message from Louie. As always, my breath caught as I read it. I’ll be there in 30.
“He’s coming.” I turned the screen toward Joey so he could see it. “I knew he missed me.”
Joey smiled and held the iPad to his chest. “I’m sure he did but…” He looked down at the comforter and sighed.
I sensed a lecture. “You can say it.” I trusted Joey with every fiber of my being. He was my closest friend. My only friend.
“Just be careful with your heart, Connor. I know you really like him, and I know he really likes you, but these guys don’t really have the luxury of falling in love. They marry to benefit the family, and usually only into other prominent families. Andro and I got lucky, but if Louie is forced to marry someone else, he’ll have to leave you behind. Or worse, keep you as a side piece but never truly giving you his heart. I don’t want that for you, and I’m afraid for what’s gonna happen in the future.” Joey grimaced after he said the words, as if the truth tasted as awful as it sounded. He wasn’t being cruel, just honest.
I hated hearing the truth, but what he was saying wasn’t wrong. I didn’t want it to be true, but it definitely was. “I know, Joey. And I’m being careful.” Or more accurately, I was fully aware of how stupid I was being.
I was trying to be smart, but it wasn’t easy to keep my distance with Louie. When he was near me, I wrapped myself around him like a second skin. I just needed my hands on him. My lips near him. His knot in me.
Was it love? I didn’t know. I was scared to even ask myself that.
“I hope so, because I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
I took a deep breath, grabbed the bright red heart-shaped pillow on my bed, and hugged it to my chest. That had been an impulse purchase one of the last times I’d gone shopping. My bedroom was full of silly things like that. I had a special bookshelf in the shape of a crescent moon that held little knick-knacks I’d picked up at random places. Hanging from the tip of the moon was the golden pothos plant Louie had given me. I smiled when I looked at it. It never ceased to bring me joy.
“Would it be so crazy for a member of the family to choose someone like me? You and I are friends. Is it really too far of a stretch to think that Louie could keep me?” I’d never said the words–my deepest desire–out loud before.
“I don’t know.” Joey put a hand over his bump and a pang of longing hit me.
He had his mate and their child on the way. He was the husband of the head of the family, making him one of the most powerful men in this house–hell, in this whole city.
I was a harem omega whose ass belonged to whichever alpha booked an appointment with me.
