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Could I have made a mistake?
I’ll never forgive myself if I find out that I let my fear get between Harper and me, between what we had and what we could have been because I was too stubborn to ask her for the truth.
“Give it to me straight,” I tell Caleb, swallowing hard.
He sighs. “All right. So, Mira says that she got a call from Harper and went to meet her at a bar. Harper showed her the text message you sent, which was stupid, by the way, and she was devastated because she thought you were going to propose to her.”
“I was,” I respond, feeling like hell. “The ring that I bought, I had it in my pocket the entire time. Then I went outside and overheard that call, and I just—” I let out a ragged breath. “Do you think I’ve fucked things up?”
Caleb gives me a pitiful look.
“I don’t know. But what I can tell you is that Harper called you a ton of times that night, trying to find out why you’d send something like that. But your phone was switched off.”
Fuck.
I run my fingers through my hair, beating myself to a pulp on the inside.
“After I overheard her phone call I stayed a little longer. But at some point, I couldn’t take it anymore. The reporter was asking about how we managed to hide the project from getting out, and I kept thinking about the engagement and how I wanted it to be real, and it wouldn’t be, because I was the only one who had the feelings.”
Caleb listens to me as I ramble on and on, trying to explain every shred of thought and emotion that ran through me as I walked into the hall after hearing Harper and her mom on the phone.
Hearing myself say the words out loud sounds terrible. My voice breaks as I continue. “I blew things out of proportion, and now I’ve lost the chance with the woman I love.”
He shakes his head. “Don’t be so quick to conclude. I’m sure there’s something you can do, but you’re going to have to work hard to make up for the past few days.”
“And,” he lifts a finger, “I think the reason you believed that she didn’t love you is because this is the first time you have been in love.”
“When you met Harper, she was like a force that swept you off your feet. At first, you didn’t like that, but soon enough, you fell into a rhythm with her. Something you hadn’t experienced before.”
In my heart, I know Caleb is right.
It wasn’t just a matter of what I heard. It was the fear of losing her. I didn’t want to deal with the possibility of it being a reality, so I dove head-first into a stupid assumption.
“I need to go see her,” I stand up, grabbing my bag. “I have to apologize.”
Caleb gets up.
“I’m coming with you. But first, we have to stop and get some flowers. It might not do much, but it might give you a chance to talk to her for a minute.”
***
It feels like the elevator cannot go any faster as I stare at the doors, my heart pounding and my palms sweaty.
If anyone told me that making amends with the love of my life would be the scariest thing I ever did, I wouldn’t have believed them.
But it is.
Caleb pats me on the back. “You’ve got this. Just go with your gut and don’t try to make excuses. Be a hundred percent honest.”
“Okay,” I nod. “Okay.”
The doors open, and I step out, heading for Harper’s door. Caleb tells me that he’ll stay by the elevator to give us some privacy.
As I get closer, I remember all the times I stood in front of her door, teasing her or asking her if I could come in. I recall the first time she let me in and how intimate it felt to finally be in her space.
I can’t believe I am going to lose all of that.
But, come to think of it, I haven’t seen her car in the parking lot since the evening of the gala. I was too out of it to pay attention the next morning, but I noticed her spot was empty yesterday.
