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Gritting my teeth, I palmed myself through my pants, resisting the urge to stroke myself with her. I needed to keep my focus, and if I blew a load now then I'd lose my train of thought. Or I'd do something rash and regretful.
Torturously, I watched her with sharpened eyes, taking in as much detail as possible. The dim light of the lamp barely provided me enough illumination to see her squirming body through the window.
Every part of me wished my position was between her legs instead of outside her window. I wanted to reach out and touch her body, make it arch under my fingers when they'd inch down her body as a guide to engrave her body into my mind. I'd kill to have the chance to lean down and run my tongue along the length of her neck and down her body to have her taste seared onto my tongue.
Slowly, Hanna reached her peek, her tense body arching off the bed as she threw her head back with a pleasure-stricken face that was too good not to capture. Thankfully, I'd been fast enough to whip my phone out and snap a picture before she relaxed fully in bed with a blissfully content smile—which I also took a picture of.
With my phone in hand, I started to regret not videoing her like some creep to use for later. No matter, not as if this will be the last time I settle myself outside her window.
Hanna laid there staring off into space for a long while, though intentionally or not was unbeknownst to me. Seeing her zone out like so brought another issue to the forefront of my mind as my arousal ebbed.
The more I thought about it, the more I became convinced that Hanna was oblivious to her habit of spacing out. I played off the first few times as her being deep in thought and cataloged it as a cute habit in my endless file of Hanna in my brain. However, as time passed, I noticed it happening more often than not whenever she wasn't stimulated.
So, perhaps it wasn't intentional, bringing me to a different issue of what could be wrong with her. People don't space out consistently and so often, so there had to be some underlying problem causing the disassociation.
Hanna was different from other women in the past because I wanted to know her. I wanted to know everything about her, including all the bad and hideous things that make up the spunky woman I've become captivated with. I've never wanted to know anyone's past before, to understand what made them the way they are.
Yet, with Hanna, there was this need for more. It was never-ending with Hanna, and I would gladly let my madness consume me if it meant understanding Hanna fully inside and out.
Chapter 21
Hanna
"Hey, do you know where Lev went? I need to go over some details with him about our report."
I couldn't bring myself to cross the threshold into Stepan's suffocating office. Even if his door was wide open and everything was connected, his space right now felt like an entirely different world. I feared stepping in because I knew there'd be no escape from his gravitating pull once I did.
Keeping Stepan at arm's length proved more difficult with each passing day because I worked so closely with him and basically saw him for more than half my day. Unfortunately, I had no reprieve from his presence at night in the safety of my own home either with how he plagued my dreams. Well, more of graced, not plagued, because Stepan was always a welcomed sight and feeling, as much as I hated to admit it.
Stepan's gleaming blue eyes darted at me momentarily before peeling away as he straightened in his seat and leaned back in a relaxed position in the leather office chair. "He had to go on a quick run, should be back soon." If only that were all. "Are you okay? You seem kind of preoccupied over there at your desk."
"Just a personal thing, don't worry about it, and I won't let it affect my performance either, so don't worry." I assured him with a quick flash of a smile before turning around to try and leave.
Unfortunately, my steps faltered at his following words. "If Logan's not treating you right then Lev and I won't mind taking care of him."
Dragging out a sigh, I spun back around to face him with my arms crossed. "Listen, I said I was sorry for his sudden presence like that, I don't know how or why he even showed, not like I told him where I worked or asked him to come or anything." Yes, I appreciated the kind gesture of Logan bringing me some lunch the other day, but at the same time, I didn't because I didn't ask him to, nor did I appreciate being blindsided like that.
"And I told you there was no issue with it. There's no rule against employees having visitors now and then." Stepan's nonchalant demeanor chilled me to my bones with how sharp and angry his eyes were set on his smiling face. "What's he done this time to get you all frowny over there?"
My face instantly twisted with concern before a fake—and very unconvincing smile—tugged at my lips. "I'm not frowny, just got a little anxious thinking about what to wear for my date tonight." Whoops.
What came next was unexpected. "You should wear whatever you're comfortable in, don't overthink it." Once again, he still had that playfully fake smile on his face while his eyes raged.
"Are you okay?" A very loaded question, one I doubt I'd get a true answer to.
There was a brief silence from him before his eyes unexpectedly calmed down, which unsettled me greatly because how could someone make such anger disappear in the blink of an eye? "Yeah, just thinking about what I have to do outside of office hours, that's all. I was gonna ask you to go on a quick assignment, but I don't want to run the risk of keeping you late and having Logan wait when he comes picks you up later. So, I'll handle it, you just go sit your little ass down and finish what you need and stop fretting about your little date."
Stepan didn't give me a chance to say anything or question him about how he knew Logan would pick me up later because I sure as hell said nothing about my date to Stepan until the little slip-up earlier, but that was it. His hands grabbed my shoulders after he rushed out of his seat and appeared beside me with a few long strides. Spinning me around, he ushers me to my desk and sits me down in the chair before pushing me in fully.
"I almost forgot it's a time-sensitive assignment, so I have to go now." He jetted off after ruffling the top of my head, leaving me to wallow in my own confusion as to what just happened.
I didn't get a chance to question him upon his return either because he locked himself in his office when he returned. Judging by the way he beelined for his office with his taut face, I figured the assignment didn't go well. So, I decided to drop everything and let bygones be bygones. Besides, I had a date to look forward to, a date I should be getting picked up for any minute now.
During Stepan's absence, I finished my work for the day before using the employee area to freshen up and change into a dark, sleeveless denim dress that came down to mid-thigh with a pair of black leggings underneath and my trusty black combat boots on my feet. All I had to do now was wait for Logan to show up and pick me up, which should be any second now. Any second turned into any minute… This then turned into an hour until nearly three hours had passed since the promised time Logan had given me.
"You're still here?" I couldn't even bother glancing at Stepan, who'd left his office and stood by my desk where I'd laid my head down in my folded arms. "Wasn't Logan supposed to pick you up hours ago?" Yet he didn't sound concerned one bit. If anything, he sounded almost vindictive.
Disappointment filled my long sigh as I looked at my phone for the hundredth time, hoping to see some response from Logan flash across the screen. "I don't know what happened…" Was it possible that he stood me up? No, it wouldn't make sense for Logan to stand me up after we've hit it off pretty well.
