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Also, my mind terrified me with how real it's made Stepan. They started as occasional dreams, but they plagued me more and more with time until now, where it felt like he was real. Yeah, I began to hallucinate him. It felt like he was physically in my bed with me, holding and soothing me.
It felt so damn real!
I knew I was crazy, but come on, even this started to make me sound like an insane asylum patient.
If things were different, then I might let it be because, well, I craved the safety and security Dream Stepan brought me. But I couldn't indulge myself this time, not with how I wanted to keep Stepan at a distance. I couldn't let myself become complacent with him, real or not.
"Fuck!" Pulling my hands back, I cradled my right one against my chest, groaning and hissing from the sharp pain tugging at the area.
I was about to push through the pain to give the bag another slew of punches, but a giant hand kept my hands firmly pressed against my chest. "Hanna, take a break, you're going to do more damage to yourself than that bag at this rate. Go to your desk and put some ice on that." Lev kept his concerned voice low as he looked at me with a soft frown.
At least I could enjoy Lev's company and attention without any guilt, something I've come to appreciate. Thankfully, our dynamic shifted into something good. It was a pissing contest between him and me for a small period before we somehow developed this strange best-friend-sibling relationship between us. Now, don't get me wrong, he's still an ass, but in a good way.
"I'm about to lock both of you in a damn closet if you keep tearing yourself up like this," Lev remarked with a sigh.
No, I didn't tell him about my stupid infatuation with his brother; shockingly, he somehow figured it all out on his own. I think he fried his little pea brain figuring it all out.
"And I would kill you after escaping, so think twice about that plan." I joked back with a chuckle.
At least he could always lift my mood up, and Lev, surprisingly, was good at that. He may seem like a big oaf of an idiot, but he was very attuned to people. Honestly, he could read people well, like his two older brothers, and doesn't realize it or credit himself enough for it.
"Man, if I locked you anywhere then there'd be no escaping. I mean, come on, I'm not an amateur. Besides, you'd probably be too busy shacking it up with Stepan to even try to escape." Lev teased with a deep and hearty chuckle, earning a kick to the shin from me.
"Seriously, Han, I don't know why you're beating yourself up over this shit. Just quit it with that stupid Logan dude and hook it up with Stepan. I mean, everyone can see that you both have the hots for each other, even you but you just don't accept it for some stupid ass fucking reason. I honestly didn't think you'd take Angel's advice about screwing some other dude to get over Stepan seriously." Even the idiot of the family could see my stupidity.
In all reality, yes, I should drop Logan and go spark something up with Stepan, especially since our attraction seemed mutual. Why won't I? Because I'm a stupid and stubborn bitch, that's why.
With Logan, I could keep him at a distance and not get so emotionally involved. On the other hand, if I got involved with Stepan, then I knew I would fall, hard. I was still convinced Stepan's attraction to me was fleeting or temporary. I don't have much going on for me, and no doubt he'd see that after being with me for a short time and losing interest. He's probably only chasing me because I'm not swooning at his feet or vying for his attention like most women he encountered.
I'm doing this to protect myself. Stepan will get over me sooner or later, so best we not get involved with each other and make it messier than it should be. I'd rather not unpack my baggage only to shove it back when I get kicked out.
Sighing disappointedly, Lev shook his head before placing his hands on my shoulders to turn me around. "If it were up to me, I'd lock you two in a place for a month so you two can get your shit together. Luckily, it's not up to me, so you just have to listen to me bitch about it to you whenever I see you being an ass to yourself about it."
Pretty sure if it were up to everyone, then they'd do exactly that, especially if my friends had any hands in the matter, given they knew how I am.
"Now," Lev said with a firm shove towards the direction of the door, "Go change and get your ass to your desk. I better see an ice pack on that wrist when I'm back."
"Ugh, fuck you." I scoffed in defeat with a roll of my eyes.
"If I wanted Stepan to put a bullet through my head then I'd take the offer." Lev laughed in response before giving my back a hard pat and shove.
Reluctantly, I went to the locker rooms to wash up and change back into my casual business attire, which consisted of fitted black pants, black ankle boots, a sleeveless, wine red halter neck blouse, and a black blazer thrown over.
At least Stepan wasn't in his office, so I had the whole floor to myself until Lev returned to his desk. The entire floor only consisted of Stepan's office, Lev's desk, and my desk, which was attached to Lev's, so I sat across from him. Only the three of us, besides any possible guards, were up on this level at any given time.
So, the time to myself was nice while it lasted, which unfortunately wasn't long—only about fifteen or so minutes.
"Hanna, why are you not icing and resting your wrist like you should?" Stepan sounded like a parent scolding their child when he posed his question to me. No doubt he had a stern look fitting his tone, but I didn't dare look over to confirm or deny my suspicions.
"Malen'kaya tigritsa, I asked you a question, so I expect an answer." So much for avoiding him because he positioned himself beside me at my desk.
"My wrist is fine, feels better now." I lied in a small voice, keeping my eyes glued to my computer screen while gritting through the pain as I typed on the keyboard.
I could hear his frustration building with his heavy breath and practically feel it suffocating me under his gaze.
I've never been one to shrink away from someone, but Stepan made me feel like a child right now for some odd reason. The underside of my desk started to look more inviting as Stepan bore his stern gaze into me.
Damn it, what the hell is wrong with me? He's just another man, so punch him in the face like you would any other man!
