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"Angel, he did for a moment, did he ever show you the pictures he's taken of you before he decided to push you onto the back burner?" Oh, I was in deep shit now.
Nikolai glared at me with a 'cut it out' look running through his sharp eyes. Guess he never told her about his little stint then from the reactions I got from both of them.
"I'm sorry, what?" The saccharine smile on Angel's face, paired with her deadly eyes, meant that it was time for me to take my leave.
"Good luck bratok. "
Chapter 30
Hanna
Panting heavily, I continued to push my protestant body to punch at the sand-filled sack even though my aching arms screamed at me to stop. I had too many pent-up emotions to vent, so stopping wasn't an option, not until my body gave out on its own.
I stopped feeling the blows after a while, my knuckles numb to the sensation. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if I found my knuckles bloody under my gloves from how hard and much I'd been going at the bag for the past hour almost. I'd already burned through my legs, which were stiffly locked under me because I had kicked the bag until I was content.
Sleeping with Stepan didn't get him out of my system, but I'd already figured as much after feeling the depth of his kiss the moment he sealed us together.
Don't get me wrong, the sex with Stepan was beyond amazing, and him taking care of me afterwards by cleaning me and feeding me snacks before holding me tightly until I drifted off was wonderful. However, the tension between us grew when he avoided and deflected my questions.
I should have stayed that morning, waited until he woke up to talk to him because he did say we'd discuss things after a good night's sleep. But my anxiety got the better of me. Stepan probably got me out of his system. Our sweet little moment ended that night after our eyes closed. He probably would have sent me off after waking as if I was just another lay.
Why else would he keep on pushing my questions off? He obviously didn't want to answer them and get involved with me. It was the only thing that made sense to me, and my suspicions were somewhat confirmed by how distant he'd kept me the past week at work. He treated me like I wasn't there, no more bantering or teasing; he still gave me breakfast and lunch, but there was nothing much beyond very brief conversations about work.
Stepan was done with me. I should have known better than to make myself vulnerable to him like that. It might have been a game for him, but it wasn't for me. So far, he's made no move to prove me wrong otherwise. All his talk that night was just that, dirty talk.
How could I have been so fucking stupid?
Thankfully, no one was around the gym this late to hear my cry of anger as I punched the bag one last time.
I felt so enraged at myself and Stepan. I can't believe I let myself get played by him even after being so cautious to keep him behind a steel wall. I shouldn't be angry at Stepan for pursuing me; he had every right to do as he pleased, but he shouldn't have done me dirty like that after I'd told him what I did.
I'm such an idiot. A fucking idiot.
I made such an embarrassment of myself to him. I can't believe I let myself fall to his stupid charms.
Breathing heavily, I threw a pathetic punch at the bag when I turned around to leave the employee gym for the locker room.
After a quick shower to freshen up, I left for home with a heavy mind and heart.
The distance hurt, a lot. Just the thought of it right now felt like a knife to my clenching heart. A part of me was glad for the distance, a tiny part, but the majority of me was sorely disappointed and anguished by it.
He truly didn't want me in the end, and that thought hurt like hell. He got what he wanted, now I'm yesterday's news.
God damn it, fuck him. Screw him. Fuck Stepan.
Like a messy roller-coaster, my sadness swung back to rage within a moment.
Why the hell am I hung up over him?
Because you're fucking obsessed with him and like him, a lot.
Fucking heart and emotions.
As I approached my apartment, I held my phone to my ear after dialing Angel to hit her up for a night out. I needed to blow some more steam off, so what better way than to dance the night away after getting myself shit-faced drunk. Besides having a buddy to drink and dance with, I needed someone to vent to and get comfort from.
"Well, do you really want to go to White Out again after what happened?" I asked my friend with a chuckle as I opened the door to my apartment. "Well, we can go anywhere as long as we can drink and dance the night away. I just need to get Stepan out of my mind and system and hopefully out of my damn bleeding heart."
SLAM!
