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If he were anyone else, then I'd laugh and tell them to go ahead because why should I care as long as I got my fill of pleasure? Stepan was different though; I cared about his pleasure as much as mine. Besides enjoying the feeling of him filling me, I found myself enjoying the high I got from making him reach his release. I'd miss out on the total satisfaction if I didn't get his climax.
"Hmp." I nodded in response with a pout.
Leaning back, I steadied myself with his shoulders after moving his hands down to my waist and having him hold me there. Slowly, I rocked my hips and let myself ease into the pleasure of his length pressing and hitting all the sweet, deep spots within me.
"We'll start with the obvious: why did the sight and presence of Lilian Wu flip a switch in you?" Even though he sounded and mainly looked put together, I could see his resolve threatening to break from the strain of his jaw and muscles.
My hips started to slow; just hearing her name was enough to get me out of the mood to fuck. Unfortunately, Stepan won't have any of it because he grabbed my hips and made me move, so I was constantly stimulated.
"Do we really have to do this now? I don't want the mood to be ruined." Talking about torture was hotter than this subject.
"If you want me to drop the subject then I will, just remember what happens if you go that route." He reminded me with an arrogant smirk, making me narrow my eyes at him.
"I hate her." I replied bluntly with a huff.
From the way Stepan rolled his eyes in response, he held back a snarky response. "I'm going on a whim and am willing to bet that she has a lot to do with a bad past, particularly your trauma since you unconsciously rubbed at your burn areas, something you only do when you get extremely uncomfortable, more particularly whenever anything about your past comes up."
"How do you know about my burns?" The question he's vehemently avoided so far.
"We're talking about you first, then we can move onto me if you can think straight after I'm done with you." Damn jerk, he has no intentions of answering any of my questions tonight; that much was evident by his jaded voice. "Now, elaborate."
Huffing with a pout, I narrowed my eyes at him for a moment while I remained still on his member, the only movements being the subtle rocking of my hips because of his hands moving me. "Don't think too much on it, malenkaya, stay focused, stay with me." Easier said than done.
I never thought about those moments in my life, at least not actively. Anxiously, I chewed at my bottom lip while playing with the back of Stepan's hair in an attempt to distract myself enough so I wouldn't fall into a flashback. The pleasure from him filling me provided a good focal point, but I needed to touch something, to feel him, more of him.
"You know, I think the reason why Angel and I get along so well and understand each other so well is because we both have fucked up families but good fathers." Not the answer he wanted, but I wasn't done.
I had to keep my head above the water first, to breathe and take my breath before diving under. "Lilian's my aunt, her and my mother made me work in a brothel… I was only ten years old. They didn't care though, all they saw were the dollar signs, the stacks of cash… For two years, I had to…" I had to pause to force the bile that choked at my throat back down. "The things they made me do, the things they did to me, what I was forced to witness…" I had to pause again otherwise I would throw up right this instant. "Two years until my only friend in the place got into an accident that burned the place down. I shouldn't be this traumatized over it, others were there a lot longer than me, two years would've been nothing to them. So, I shouldn't be complaining or be traumatized by any of it." I finished in a shaky voice.
I hadn't realized how tight my grip on Stepan's hair got until he hissed with a soft wince. "Sorry." His neck suffered at my other hand, my nails having dug into the back of it.
"Hanna, no, don't feel guilty for feeling the way you do. You were just a child when all of that was forced onto you." Leaning up, Stepan slid his hands up my body and held my face gently, swiping away the tears that fell from my eyes uncontrollably. "It doesn't matter how long or when you were subjected to such horrendous things, anyone would be traumatized by it no matter what." His strong arms suffocate me in comfort before his next words sweetened my ears. "You have every right to feel broken, that's okay, that doesn't make you any less of a person, nor does it damage your image any."
Pulling away, he gave me a proud smile as he held my face adoringly. "If anything, seeing how far you've come, how far you've built yourself back up into this badass woman who doesn't take no shit from no one, even me, is amazing to see. You have to give yourself more credit tigress, I mean it. Not everyone can recover and bounce back like you, and don't feel guilty for the others just because you managed to recover faster. Everyone does things at their own pace and time, and some are savable while some aren't, unfortunately."
Stepan's comforting touch and words kept the icky memories at bay enough to keep me from going under. However, there was this darkness, an anger, a resentment of sorts burning deep in his eyes below the comforting look he gave me. "I shouldn't have dismissed you so coldly back in the office, forgive me?" His expression softened with appeal, and his lips ghosted mine for a second in an attempt to get on my good side.
"I can't stay upset at you for that, not when you didn't know anything. Besides, I already forgave you after our little tiff in the parking lot." His cheek had a pink hue to it still from where I'd slapped him good after missing my punch.
Smiling victoriously, he leaned in fully and captured my lips in a hot kiss.
I'd expected the weight to lift off my shoulders once I confessed to him, yet why did I still have this nagging feeling?
Chapter 35
Stepan
With Hanna sound asleep in my arms, I lazily stroked her arm and back.
Even though she came clean to me about her past earlier, something didn't feel right. Her eyes were clouded with uncertainty when she spoke. There was an element of truth to her words, no complete lies, but there was something very off. She had a distant look in her eyes when she spoke; I could hear the hurt in her voice, but it wasn't deep. It was as if she disassociated and went on autopilot.
I didn't doubt Hanna, no. Again, I sensed some truth to her words, but something deeper existed. And I intended to figure it out whether she likes it or not. I wasn't upset with her though, not at all, because she didn't do it on purpose from what I picked up.
Sighing softly, I looked down at my sleeping beauty with sadness and concern. Well, at least I avoided having to confess my side to her; she was too tired after I took her for a few rounds after dinner to bother bringing her questions back up.
Breathing deeply, I took in her scent to calm myself and lull myself into a deep slumber with her, only stirring awake when I felt her warmth leave me.
"Malenkaya, not yet, just a little more." I whined needily, pulling her back against me and locking my arms around her waist. "It's Saturday, stay in bed with me a little more." With a long groan, I bury my face into her hair while spooning her tightly.
