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Two weeks ago, Riley and I flew back to Boston together. Since Lila and Maddox are back in Manhattan, I moved into Maddox’s apartment for the time being. To be closer with Riley. I made that move before the Christmas gala.
After our conversation on the ferris wheel, I thought something changed between us. It had changed. The dynamics of our relationship, or whatever we had between us.
Riley had finally acknowledged the chemistry between us and our affections for each other— she had been willing to give us a chance.
But that was before Grayson came back.
That was before Grayson asked her for another chance.
Riley has been avoiding me since that night. She can’t even look me in the eyes now. She’s quiet and stays in her apartment, spending the time alone with her own thoughts. And that’s dangerous. Because she’s overthinking.
That means she’s analyzing all the pros and cons of our relationship. She’s probably thinking of all the ways I could break her heart. After all, that’s her greatest fear.
I can’t even convince her anymore. There’s nothing left for me to prove. Because I’ve already given her all of me. What more can I possibly do to make her choose me?
Yesterday, when we ate dinner together, she kept glancing at me with a gut-wrenching guilt on her face. And I found it sickening. That expression…
And the confusion in her eyes.
Why is she guilty?
Is she guilty because she’s already made up her mind… and I’m not her choice. Is she guilty because she has decided to go back on her words?
She gave me hope— that there could be an us. On the ferris wheel, Riley talked about changing the status of whatever relationship we had now.
Friends with benefits, to test our feelings.
But everything is jaded now.
I raise my fist, to knock on her door. Except, I don’t have to because she’s opening it. Riley’s head snaps up at the sight of me standing in front of her. She blinks, shocked.
Riley is dressed warmly from head to toes.
“You’re going out?” I ask roughly.
She swallows uncomfortably and then gives me a small nod. Riley meets my eyes for one heartbreaking second before her gaze flickers away.
Thud. My lungs squeeze painfully.
There are dark circles under her eyes, almost like she has slept all night. Her face is slightly pale, looking a little sickly.
“Do you have a fever?” I ask, frowning. Concerned, I reach out and touch her forehead. But she’s cool and her skin is clammy. “Do you really need to go out? You look a little faint.”
She clears her throat, her pink lips parting as if she’s about to speak but the ringing of her causes her to pause. Her jaw snaps close as she brings it up, checking the Caller ID.
Riley flinches.
My eyes flicker to her phone screen and I see Grayson’s name on it.
My heart slams into my throat. “You’re going to see him?” Pain slashes across her face, and I have my answer. Searing agony racks through my body. “Why?” I ask, hoarsely.
Remorse fills her eyes, and she bites hard on her lower lip, almost like she’s trying to hold in a despairing cry. Riley is grieving and I don’t even know for whom.
Every breath I take is downright excruciating.
Fuck, she’s killing me.
“Actually, never mind. I don’t want to know.” My chest aches so hard it hurts to breathe. I take several steps away from her.
