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I grip the sink tighter, until my knuckles ache. He gives my breast a taunting squeeze. “Are you adding molestation to your numerous charges, Jasper?”
He chuckles darkly in my ears. “It’s not molestation if you want it, Smelly Riley.”
His other hand moves to my abdomen, and then lower, until he’s cupping me between my legs. My whole-body flushes in mortification. I roughly push back against him, and he briefly loses his balance, his hands falling away from my body.
I feel hot — not with desire. Oh, no, no. I feel hot, with uneasiness and shame. My head spins, and I wobble away from Jasper. “You will never touch me again. The next time you dare do that again, I will break your arm. I swear.”
He raises his eyebrow in question, almost mockingly.
“You have an ego problem,” I hiss, fighting back enraged and panicked tears. “Truthfully, it doesn’t match that small dick of yours.”
His face turns red, the veins bulging at my words. Jasper takes a threatening step toward me, but I’m already swiveling around and heading out the door. His fingers brush against my bare arm, but he doesn’t get a chance to grab hold of me.
Disgust curdles through me, and the food that’s still in my stomach becomes unsettling. My belly twists painfully, as I search for my dad through blurred vision.
Someone grabs onto me, and I hear them asking if I’m okay. But I can’t answer.
I can’t…breathe.
Fighting back the dizziness, I reach forward blindly. Panic surges through me, and I can’t think. I can still feel his touch on my skin, the way he grabbed my breast and how he cupped me so shamelessly.
The devils on my shoulders are silent. But the voices around me…everything is too loud.
Help…
My stomach revolts and nausea builds.
My rapid heartbeat is accompanied with cold sweat and my body starts to shake. Hyperventilating, I call out weakly, but I don’t think anyone hears me. “Daddy…”
I let out a choked sob. “Help me, please.”
My full stomach roils again, and I fight the urge to gag. Tears slide down my cheeks, and my throat closes up. The lump grows heavier and heavier. The disgusting feeling of sickness surges through me, clawing under my flesh like a poisoned disease.
No, I should have purged everything I ate before. If I don’t…I’ll grow fat and ugly. People will see it. They will see how my stomach distends. They will see the rolls on my thighs. They will see…everything I’m trying to hide.
I won’t be pretty anymore.
No…
I need to be beautiful. I am my mother’s daughter.
I am powerful. I am my father’s daughter.
This is my value.
I need…
Oh God, I can’t.
I can’t…do this.
Jasper’s voice, Jenny’s taunts — the mocking and everything else fill my head. My ears echo with them, so loud, it’s almost deafening.
The world spins.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
My father grips my arm, and he’s shaking me.
