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Colton’s knee bumps into mine again.
Lila pushes away from the table, grabbing her empty tray. A breath expels out of me shakily, as I lurch forward to do the same. I need to get out of here.
Before I lose my lunch all over Colton’s expensive shoes.
I follow Lila out of the cafeteria.
“Maddox is having the time of his life messing with me, and I’m letting him.” Lila growls under her breath, marching through the hallways like she’s about to go to war. “Not anymore. He wants to play games? Fine, I will play his games. But on my rules.”
“You’re annoyed,” I comment weakly.
“What do you think?” She pauses at her locker and angrily shoves her bag inside. She reaches out for mine and I hand it to her. We’ve gotten into a habit of sharing a locker. It’s just easier than having to make two pit stops. “What is it with us attracting jerks?”
I give her a half-shrug. I wish I knew.
Maybe we have a big red sign written on our foreheads, that’s only invisible to us, but everyone else sees it. HELLO TO ALL JERKS.
“Are you okay?” Lila asks, concerned.
I grimace in response. “Nothing, I just feel a little sick.”
“Because of what happened in the cafeteria?”
“It’s fine.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
I shake my head. “Uhm, can I have a mint?”
“Candy or gum?” She has a whole stash in her locker, specifically for me.
“Gum, please.”
I take the gum from her and unwrap it. I’ve found that chewing gum helps me stay focused and saves me from having anxiety attacks. It’s a stress-reliever coping mechanism I’ve adopted.
I grab my Calculus notebook, while chewing on my gum. My tense muscles loosen, and my stomach is no longer cramping. I don’t feel nauseous, and I can breathe better; it doesn’t feel like my lungs are caving inward anymore.
Lila closes her locker, just as the bell rings. Time to get to class.
“I have biology next, you?”
“Calculus.” I plug in my earphones, turning on the whale noises I like to listen to. This is better. The soothing, lulling sounds of the whales calms me. It’s like a shot of dopamine in my system.
“I’ll see you after school then.” Lila gently inserts her hand into the pocket of my blazer, placing something there before taking her hand away. “Here, this is another mint gum. In case you need it.”
I nod thankfully and we go our separate ways. Keeping my head down, I take the stairs to the upper floor. I only come to a halt when I see Grayson standing outside of our Calculus class.
With Oaklynn at his side, like she always seems to be.
But while Oakylnn looks cozy with him, Grayson appears utterly disinterested in her advances. That’s how I came to the conclusion that they are not dating.
His head lifts up and our eyes meet.
Thud.
My steps slow, and my heart does that same stuttering thing it does every time I see Grayson. Oh, why, why…why?
He’s staring, again.
