Page 13 of It's Always Been You

I know I’m in the way, but I don’t want to let her go. I don’t think I can. She’s in my arms right now, safe. Hurt, crying…traumatized, but nonetheless, alive and safe.

It’s almost fucking laughable. I used to pride myself in being completely detached from having feelings. I was never an emotional kid, and as I became older…circumstances made me grow even more distasteful of emotions.

But here I am: a fool, who is weak in his fucking knees for a woman who doesn’t want him.

When I don’t immediately let her go, the paramedic gives me an impatient look. I reluctantly start to move Riley from the cradle of my embrace, but she clutches my shirt with her tiny fist. “D-don’t let go,” she whimpered. “Colton, please.”

My name on her lips — I’m damned.

The desperation in Riley's voice has my heart aching. Her grip on my shirt tightens as if I am her only lifeline in this chaos. I just know that I will never be able to say no to anything to this girl.

“I’m right here, Sunshine. I’m not leaving, I promise. I’ll hold your hand while the paramedic checks out your injuries.”

She lifts her head, staring up at me with glassy eyes. Her pupils are dilated and there’s so much hopelessness in that dark gaze— a painful melancholy.

I cradle her right hand in both of mine, tenderly brushing my thumb over her knuckles. They are bruised, but not bleeding. Her fingers feel rough, the skin looking red and chafed. God, what has she been through?

I watch as the lady assesses Riley's injuries, her gentle touch contrasting with the seriousness of the situation. She winces as the paramedic touches the wound on her forehead, but Riley keeps her eyes fixed on me. Somehow, I feel like she’s seeking solace in my presence. I squeeze her hand reassuringly, silently promising that I won't leave her side.

As the paramedic prepares to transfer Riley to the hospital, I stand up, not letting go of her hand and following closely beside her as they wheel her out. I can't bear the thought of being separated from her, not when she's in this vulnerable state.

I’ll be what she needs right now. Even if she no longer wants me afterward.

The ambulance’s lights flash around us, casting a surreal glow over the scene. I see Grayson on another stretcher as they load him up into a separate ambulance.

Riley’s gaze finally snaps away from mine. “Is he okay?” She gasps heavily as the door closes, and we can no longer see Grayson’s limp, bleeding body.

“We’ll get you both to the hospital and you’re both going to be fine,” someone responds before I can.

Riley squeezes her eyes shut. She’s not crying anymore, but a pained expression crosses her tear-stained face.

“I’ll ride with her,” I tell the female paramedic. “She needs me.”

And I’m not leaving her side until I get answers.

Until…she lets go of my hand.

Until…she no longer wants me there.

CHAPTER THREE

Riley

It smells like death.

I hate it.

It’s loud. There are too many voices.

I hate it.

My chest hurts…I can’t breathe.

I hate how the hospital smells, the unmistakable scent of blood seeping through a veil of antiseptic. The stench of death lingers around us. Hospitals are a close second to graveyards.

I killed a man today.

Why can’t I breathe?

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