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“I bet we both have questions. Should we clear those away, dissolve any doubts now?” Mya slipped her hands underneath his shirt, flattening her palms against the heated skin of his back.
He groaned at her touch, a shiver dancing through his muscles. His arms tightened slightly. “Yeah. We probably should.” He didn’t move, and neither did she. After a few moments, Kade laughed softly, and she felt the brush of his lips against her temple. “I don’t wanna let you go, though.”
“Couch snuggles, then?” She glanced over her shoulder. “Less than fifteen feet away.”
“Acceptable option.” His arms squeezed and lifted, and suddenly, her feet were dangling, toes barely skimming the floor. Kade shuffled them to the couch, then sat with legs spread and settled her in the gap of his thighs, her body still held tight against his chest. “There.” The single word came out on a gusty sigh that made her smile. “I like this.”
She shifted into a more comfortable position, head against his shoulder so she could see his face. “Want me to go first?”
“Whatever makes you more comfortable, honey.” He turned to look at her, and she saw the honesty there. “Works for me.”
“Those last few months of school were so hard. Living with Daddy as he deteriorated was maddening, because he wouldn’t see what was happening right in front of his face. What he was doing to us as a family.” Mya swallowed. “Then the prom happened, and I lost my footing. After that, all I could think about was how to get away. Get out of that town and find a better place. A place that would fit me.” She moved her gaze to track along the sharp edge of his throat, beard blurring the lines of his face. “I asked you to the prom because I wanted to tell you I loved you. Not as a best friend, but more.”
“So you found an exit strategy.” His tone carried no condemnation, no disappointment, and Mya blinked hard to keep sudden tears at bay. “Nothin’ wrong with ensuring your own sanity.”
“I should have talked to you.” Blunt and to the point, she pushed through. “But I didn’t have any idea you were gay. It hurt to think you’d held a secret like that, not believing you could tell me.”
The bark of laughter was so unexpected she startled, huddling closer as she realized what the sound was.
Ignoring the interruption, she continued, “I’m not saying I didn’t keep secrets too. Nobody knew about how bad Daddy was when he’d been drinking. How hurtful he was to Momma and me. Or how I felt about you. That was the biggest lie, seeing you every day and knowing you’d never feel the same way.”
“You never asked.” Now his words held a shade of regret, the same emotion she felt down to her toes.
“No, I didn’t. It was easier that way. At least the me I was then thought so. I saw things in such stark black and white. No allowances for anything in the middle, so there wasn’t a reason to question it.”
“And now?”
“Now I know that talking is healthy. Asking questions is how certainty is defined. Conversations are critical to enhancing relationships. And secrets are a sure recipe for disaster.”
“Yeah,” he whispered, twisting his neck to look down at her.
They stayed like that for a moment that extended into two, then five, then more. Mya slowed her breathing to match his, holding his gaze in the bravest thing she thought she’d ever done.
“Did you know Paul was gay?”
Mya shook her head. “Not until you guys went to the prom together.”
“He asked me if I thought it was worth tearing up friendships to live a truth-filled life. I told him hell yeah, it was, and we decided the biggest statement he could make was the prom. Then you asked me, and I couldn’t say yes. Not if I was going to help him figure out his own mess. I thought I’d have time to explain, but you pulled back. We spent less time together, mostly because I tried to be there for him throughout the fallout. He was a good friend, but you were my best friend, and I thought you’d just know what was going on. Now I know how stupid that was, and I should have talked about it.” Kade sucked in a hard breath, then blew out a thin stream of air. “He was my first kiss, but I didn’t love him. By then, I knew that both sexes tripped my trigger, so going to prom on Paul’s arm was a way to be my own flavor of real. But I can guarantee you he wasn’t the person I wanted to be there with that night. He wasn’t the one I wanted to slow dance with.”
Kade tipped his head and brushed another kiss against her temple. “In case you’re wondering, that person was you, Mya.”
“You never said anything.” She’d lost the fight against the slow trickle of tears minutes ago, and Kade’s hand cupped her cheek, thumb brushing across the wet skin.
“Neither did you. But hell, Mya, we were both just kids. Kids who didn’t have the best of anything, not with your dad’s struggles and the death of mine. I think it would have been shocking if we hadn’t sabotaged our own happiness at that point.” His thumb glided along the curve of her eyebrow. “I believe it’s a miracle we didn’t shit-talk ourselves out of even friendship. Kids are dumb, sometimes.”
“I think I was afraid.”
“Not too afraid to strike out on your own. Hell, that’s pretty fearless. And look at all you’ve accomplished in spite of everything. You’re amazing, Mya. I’m so proud to call you my friend.”
“I thought a clean break would be easier, but it wasn’t. Those first couple years were hard.”
“Hard at home too. You broke my heart.” He said the words so calmly, she had to study his features to find the truth there. That had to be the pain she’d seen before, the flashes of anger. “I was so mad at you. I kept thinking that surely, you’d come back. That you couldn’t be really gone. So I hung around. Certain you’d come to your senses from whatever wild hair you’d had. I mean, of course, I needed to make sure my baby brother made it through school, keep him on the straight and narrow. But behind everything was my hope you’d show back up someday. Man, was I ever gonna give you a piece of my mind. Had the speech all planned out, all the things I needed to tell you, all the anger I was gonna drown you in. I wrote it all down. Filled a dozen notebooks with rage.” He snorted a soft laugh. “Then when I did see you, all that fell to the side, because all I could think about was there you were. Right there. In touching distance. And I promised myself it would be different this time. Angry me was a child, but the man holding you now? He’s in love with you. After all this time, that emotion is still my core truth.”
“I’d understand if you felt differently.”
His hand cupped her chin, lifting and angling so his lips met hers in a soft caress. “And I’d understand if you did too. The good thing is we’ve both had those intervening years to grow up. Gain perspective.” Kade gently nipped her bottom lip. “And here we are now.”
Bo jumped on the couch cushion next to Mya’s legs, and Kade made an impatient noise.
