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“Oh, uh, well...” I hesitated. Even with my mom around, things had always been tight. Peanut butter and bread were staples; anything beyond that was a luxury.
“I’m a purist,” I blurted out defensively. “Why mess with something when it’s already good?”
“Well, I’m of the mind that if it’s good, and I can add something to make it even better, then I’m going to do it. Just slap some ham after the cheese, and you’ve got a grilled ham and cheese,” Sloane instructed.
I nodded, taking in her words.
Yarder followed me to the kitchen, his presence a comforting one.
“You good?” he asked quietly.
I grabbed the loaf of bread off the counter and opened it. “Yes, why wouldn’t I be?” I responded, grabbing the butter and a pack of ham from the fridge. “Did you want a ham and cheese?”
“Just cheese for me, babe,” he replied. “I’m with you in thinking if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
I closed my eyes briefly, a wave of emotions washing over me. “Please don’t patronize me. I know I just looked like a fool out there for never having a grilled ham and cheese.”
“You’re not missing much,” Yarder reassured me.
I let out a shaky breath, feeling the weight of my past struggles. “I shouldn’t be ashamed of... me. But sometimes it’s hard, knowing not everyone has it as hard as I do.”
“No one in that room would ever judge you or make you feel bad, Poppy,” Yarder said softly, pulling me into his arms.
I leaned into his embrace, feeling the warmth and comfort he provided. “I know they won’t, but I just... I just don’t want to advertise that I have to choose between ham and gas, okay?”
“Dammit, Poppy,” Yarder sighed heavily, holding me close.
Tears welled up in my eyes, a mix of embarrassment and gratitude. I shouldn’t be crying over ham and cheese, but it was a reminder of the struggles I faced. And even though I had a chosen family now, some scars ran deep.
Yarder finally spoke after a moment of silence. “You wanna watch a movie tonight?”
I pulled back, meeting his gaze. “Are you trying to distract me from feeling sorry for myself?”
He squinted slightly; his lips quirked up into a half-smile. “Maybe.”
I wiped away my tears, and a small smile tugged at my lips. “Well, you’re lucky because I will take you up on your offer, but under one condition.”
Yarder tilted his head, waiting for my request.
“You help me make a butt load of grilled ham and cheese.”
“Griddle right up there with ham?” Yarder joked.
It wasn’t a mean joke, though. At least it wasn’t coming from Yarder. He knew my struggles, and he wasn’t laughing at them.
“Probably way above ham,” I teased back, a hint of playfulness in my tone.
Yarder chuckled as he moved to one of the cabinets and pulled out a long black platter. “Ready?” he asked, turning to face me.
I nodded, feeling a surge of gratitude for his understanding and support. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”
Chapter Twelve
Yarder
“You’re here.”
I shut the door behind me, feeling a strange sense of unease as I entered my own bedroom. Why did it feel awkward walking into my own space? “I said I would watch a movie with you tonight,” I shrugged, trying to shake off the odd feeling.
