Page 33 of Daring to Surrender


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The smug look on Dozer’s face said let him try. “I have no doubt, sir. But I’m telling you, you won’t find anything.”

“Janel, your mother said to call her tomorrow.”

After promising to call and sending love to all her family Janel ended the call.

Dozer leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. “What the fuck. I just spoke to a fucking king.”

Janel grinned. “My dad is an awesome king.” Until that moment, Janel hadn’t realized how much Dozer reminded her of her dad. But then again, Luc had reminded her of her grandfather. Both men’s similarities were confusing to her.

“Your dad called you Janel.”

“Yes. That’s my real name. The brown contacts, the accent, and the name change were all my dad’s compromises. Of sorts.”

“Listen, you’ve seen the places you wanted to. It’s time you leave and go home.”

She shook her head. Why was he trying to get rid of her? “No. I need more time.”

Frustrated, he sat back and asked, “What’s going on, Jane or Janel? This isn’t only about your mother’s past, is it?”

“You can call me Janel. And no, it’s not.” Her shoulders slumped and she sighed. “I mean I did want to see where my mom grew up. But mostly I needed a minute to breathe. Don’t get me wrong. I know I lead a privileged life. I’m not complaining. It’s just that sometimes it gets to be too much.”

“Did something happen?”

She gave a single nod. “A lot of things have happened. I guess it all started about seven years ago when I lost someone very close to me. I thought my life would go one way, and instead I had an abrupt life change.”

“A boyfriend?”

She nodded again. “We met when I was sixteen. We fell in love and planned a future together. He proposed and we were to get married when we graduated college, but he was killed on his way home one night. A lot changed after that. Mainly me. Year after year I felt myself, the me I knew, disappear into a person I no longer recognized.”

Dozer sat quietly listening and she knew she had his full attention. Without the judgement or fake sympathy she’d grown to hate. He’d never met James and he had no idea how great their love had been. That gave her the strength to continue.

“My family… I love them dearly, but they couldn’t help. Nothing anyone tried to do for me made it any better. Instead, it felt like they were walking on eggshells around me. ‘Don’t upset Janel.’” Then she’d started seeing James in a crowd or passing in a car, and she’d truly thought she was losing her mind. She’d wake up in the middle of the night and feel his touch on her cheek. That was when she started to change. To pull back from life.

“The person I’d become didn’t take chances. If given the opportunity to go on vacation on the family yacht, I’d make excuses and stay home. They saw how upset it made me. But they started depending on me in other ways. To babysit, to fill in for them at a public event, or anything that didn’t require me to leave the city, I became the person they’d ask. I didn’t mind. Really. At that point, it wasn’t like I had a life. I suppose you’d say I was merely existing.”

“That sounds like they took advantage of you, Janel.”

She shrugged. “I realize that’s how it sounds, but it wasn’t. They only wanted me to be happy. They thought they were helping by keeping me busy and needed. But something happened right before I came here. I was in a friend’s wedding and social media made a fuss over me. It was silly really, and I didn’t like the attention. It seemed pointless and objectifying.”

A strange look came over his face. “Wait a minute. You’re the girl with the ass.”

Janel shrieked, threw her arms up in disgust, and flopped back against the couch. “Seriously? You know about this?”

Dozer grinned at her dramatic reaction. “I overheard the bit…girls at the club talking about it. I may have glanced at the picture on a phone.”

“I need you to erase that image from your memory and never speak of it again. It’s embarrassing.”

The look he gave her was smoking hot and her face heated. “No can do, babe. It’s permanently engraved. So what is it you’re hoping to find here? Because Pikeville isn’t big on life-changing opportunities.”

She looked down at her folded hands. That was a question she asked herself daily. What did she want? “I don’t know if I’m looking for anything. Maybe all I need is time away from my normal life. All I know is that I’ve been happier working for Walter and living in this house than I’ve been in years.” And getting to know him, but she wasn’t adding that.

He didn’t like her answer. “Fine. I’ll pick you up tomorrow for work.”

“No, really. You don’t have to do that. I can walk.”

“Why can’t those two bozos’ take you?”

“Because I’m trying to forget they are here. In my eyes, that would be cheating. I’m here, standing on my own two feet.”

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