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“I’m sorry, hun, but it’s not possible. Laura isn't coming back, and I know you love her, but I cannot trust her anymore. Sarah is going to be here soon, and from now on she’s going to be looking after you. It’s only temporary until I find another nanny." I felt like the worst father in the world.
Maja’s face went red, and she pushed my chest with her tiny hands.
“No! I don’t want Sarah, I want Laura back. She’s the best, and you’re the worst. I want you to call her right now!"
I grabbed her wrists, trying to stay calm as my stomach felt like a churning cement mixer. Maja sobbed and hit me with her fists. I couldn’t take it. I knew I was the cause of her pain, but she had to accept that sometimes we just didn’t get everything we wanted in life.
“I’m sorry, hun, but I didn’t want to lie to you. Come on, calm down now.” I took her into my arms while her little body shook. I felt so helpless—how was I going to fix this? Her room suddenly felt so small, and Laura’s scent was still lingering in the air. The whole residence reminded me of her, and I had no fucking idea how I was going to move on.
“W-why did you have to let her go? What happened?” she finally stammered.
I released a heavy sigh. I couldn’t tell her everything, but I had to give her something.
“She revealed information about me to the press, and that really upset me,” I explained with a heavy heart. I was squeezing her tightly, hoping that maybe she would understand this.
Then she pushed herself off me and got off my lap. Tears were still streaming down her cheeks.
“She made a mistake, and everyone makes mistakes sometimes, but you can still call her, please, Dad, please,” she was saying.
I stared at her while my heart was jackhammering loudly. My shirt stuck to my back while Maja was still begging.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart, but I can’t. Cath will take you to Sarah shortly—”
“I hate you, I hate you so much and I never want to see you ever again, not until you bring Laura back!” she screamed.
She was hysterical at this point, and I got up and went to bring her closer, but she moved.
“Maja, darling—”
“No, don’t touch me, you’re the worst father in the whole world, and I hate you. Leave me alone, leave now!” She continued to shout and started pushing me out of her room.
I didn’t know what to do, how to act in this situation. She was going crazy, and I didn’t want her to hurt herself, so I left the room. Maja slammed the door and then continued to shout that she hated me.
Why had I done this to her? What if Laura really didn’t do this and I’d blamed her so quickly? My thoughts were suddenly racing so fast. I marched all the way back to the kitchen, feeling like the whole world was crumbling beneath my feet. Blackness obscured my vision for a split second. I grabbed my phone and called my mother. She agreed to help instead of Maja having to go to Sarah, and I was suddenly so grateful that my mother was coming to stay with us for a while.
It was just the beginning of a long and stressful week.
The next few days passed in a blur, and I remembered little of what had happened. Some members of the opposition party were expressing their concerns in interviews, but I didn’t worry about that. My performance was immaculate, and I never did anything wrong. Still, the public had to be appeased.
“Sir, this is a very serious matter, and things might sort themselves out if you make a public address. The press knows that you fired your nanny, and people are talking,” George Farleigh, one of my cabinet members, told me over the phone.
“Don’t worry, George, I'll take care of this. I’m working on the press release as we speak,” I told him, but deep down I wanted to tell him to go to hell. This was my private life, and the media shouldn’t interfere.
Over the next few days, I only saw darkness and I felt miserable. Maja was not speaking to me. She kept kicking me out of her room and slamming the door in my face. She kept saying she hated me. I tried to console her, but she was even more stubborn than me.
“Spencer, you have to give her time. She really loved Laura,” Mum said.
We chatted until late in the kitchen after she had temporarily moved in.
“Are you certain she was the one who leaked the photo? I might be a bit biased, but I don’t see why she would do such a thing.”
“It doesn’t matter, I fired her, and that’s the end of the story. I know she’s technically family now, but I don’t trust her,” I said, calmly, because I was done with shouting and barking at people.
My mother rubbed her hand over my back.
“All right, let me make you a camomile tea, you shouldn’t be drinking right now,” she said and then put the kettle on.
I finally began to appreciate the fact that my mother was willing to drop everything and help me. Sometimes I was too harsh with her, because I was putting on the angry mask that belonged to the other Spencer Banks.
