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Yeah, I finger-quoted. I should stop and tell her we’ll talk once I’m done, but I feel like a bull seeing red. No, it’s worse. I’m desperate to regain control—to push her away before the vulnerability I keep hidden can rise to the surface.
A flicker of hurt crosses Tyley's eyes, and I hate that I’m the reason it’s there. Shame washes over me, hot and unwelcome. Yet there’s also a cruel sort of satisfaction that I’m not the only one struggling.
I'm about to turn away, but her next words stop me in my tracks. They hit me like a punch to the jaw, a knockout if I ever experienced one.
“I’m pregnant.”
twenty-three
Tyley
This is not how I pictured telling him about our baby. I had a whole speech planned—I even practiced how things might go down, with Sarah playing Grayson's part.
But as Grayson keeps stonewalling, my frustration grows and grows until something pops inside me. All those rehearsed words disappear, and in the space between us, there’s only the raw truth.
He stares at me, silent as the grave, ice-blue eyes searching mine for any sign of deception. He opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out.
He's bound to say something eventually, and I've played out a hundred different possibilities in my mind while I drove here. The one that finally slips out is one of the handful I dreaded hearing.
"How... how do you know it's mine?"
His voice is strained, little more than a whisper, and I wonder whether the regret I sense in those last words is a figment of my imagination—or he realizes what a fucked up question it is as he utters it.
"Of course it's yours, Grayson," I reply, my voice tight. "You're the only one I've been with in a very long time. I hope you don't still believe I got together with Adam at the coffee shop for a little quickie."
God, we're already spiraling into the same black hole of arguments we were trapped in last time.
Grayson's jaw tightens, a storm brewing in his eyes. For an instant, I wonder if he's about to call me a whore, or worse. Then he lets out a long breath, taking a step toward me.
"After everything that happened, I thought maybe you, you know—might have been seeing someone else."
I shake my head, relieved.
"I haven't been with anyone since we—" I pause. Broke up? Were we ever really a couple? "Stopped seeing each other."
He doesn't speak, and I wish I could see what's going on in his mind, hear the thoughts that must be swirling in there like a thunderstorm. So, I take the lead once more; it's only fair since I've had far more time to come to grips with this news than he has.
"I understand why you’d have doubts, but this is your child. Our child."
God, this is getting more and more real every passing day, and I'm not sure if I can deal with it.
"I can't deal with this right now," he says, so suddenly it almost feels like he's read my mind. I blink, trying to figure out how to respond, but he shakes his head, taking a harsh step back. "I have shit to do, can't you see that? I'm too busy to deal with your bullshit and this baby business. Maybe I'll call you when I have some free time on my hands, maybe I won't. In the meantime, I'm sure you have several other guys to give the happy news to as well; see who'll be the sucker this line will work on.”
My blood runs cold as Grayson's words cut through me like a knife, prompting the carefully constructed dam of my composure to burst.
"Grayson, stop it! I’m not here to fight; I’m here to—”
He throws his hands up in exasperation, interrupting me mid-sentence. “To tell me I’m going to be a proud dad. Do you think I'm going to jump on board because you say so? This is a life-altering decision, Tyley, and one I’m not going to let you trick me into.”
“Trick?!” I’m screaming now, and there’s no way to regain the composure I walked in here with. “I came here trying to do the right thing, but you know what? You can go fuck yourself for all I care. ”This baby deserves better than you anyway.”
I storm out before he can see the bitter tears streaming down my face, blurring my vision and burning my cheeks. Why did I ever think this would be a good idea?
"I half-expected him to tell me to go away. I hoped he wouldn't, but I was ready for the worst-case scenario. But now I can't stop crying, and I hate myself for being so stupid." I’m whimpering into the phone, and I stop to hiccup before I can keep talking. I've been crying for hours, the weight of Grayson's words and rejection crushing me more than I anticipated.
"Oh, Ty, you've got every right to be upset."
"Still! I can't be sitting around crying over some idiot. It's not who I am—or who I was, I guess. A few days ago, I started crying over spilled milk. Literally, I mean—I dropped a glass, and the tears just started pouring out."
