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“How d-did I even g-et in here?” I hissed as I wrenched my foot up and scraped my bare toes on the concrete of the wall to get free.
“Beats me,” Aleks shrugged as he reached his hand out towards me. I gratefully took it for some support as I very slowly slid my body sideways, trying to ignore the pain as bare skin scraped against rough concrete. “I’ll bet your pretty good at hide and seek though,” he added with a wink.
Finally, with Aleks’s strength and help I managed to get myself out from the gap. I was cut up pretty badly down my legs and one of my arms was bleeding badly from a deeper cut. I leant back against the wall of the garage, feeling too shaky to stand. I looked around at Nick and Harris who stood in their coats, with shorts and boots, watching me with worry.
“That cut looks bad,” Harris said as he stepped forward and turned my arm to get a closer look.
It was Kailan’s absence that caused me to remember what had happened to get me in that state. I reached up and touched my throat as I remembered creeping into his room, and him attacking me. My throat felt bruised where his hand had been wrapped around it.
“Where’s Kailan? Is h-he okay?” I asked as I looked between them all.
“He’s okay. He had a nightmare and he’s worried he hurt you. Did he?” Nick asked.
“It wasn’t his fault. I n-never should have g-one into his room. You told me you guys have nightmares. I sh-should have realized.”
“Let’s just get you inside. You’re frozen,” Nick suggested, and I agreed. I couldn’t stop shivering. My head was starting to pound because of my teeth chattering so hard. Harris wrapped his arm around my shoulders and supported me as I forced my Jell-o legs to carry me up the steps and into the house.
“Grab blankets. I want to clean and dress the worst cuts. We need to get her warm,” he ordered once we were inside.
“No!” I cried. “I don’t n-eed all of that. I just…I need to take a sh-shower,” I assured them, embarrassed enough by my insane behavior, without them all fussing over me.
“Babe, you’re bleeding. A lot,” Nick said as he nodded to the blood dripping from my hand and onto the wooden floor beneath.
“Oh God! Sorry,” I gasped as I cupped my hand beneath the dripping blood.
“I’ll get a towel,” Aleks volunteered as he ran for the kitchen. He returned a moment later with a clean white dish towel. He came over to me and wrapped it around the gash on my forearm. I was pretty sure I had done it when I tripped down the front steps, but I couldn’t be sure. I was cut up pretty badly from squeezing myself in that crazy hiding place too.
“Thanks,” I told Aleks once it was covered and the beautiful, polished floor was being spared any more gore. I looked around for Kailan, but he was nowhere in sight.
“He thinks this is his fault. You may need to give him some time,” Aleks sighed tiredly. They all looked tired and frozen. I felt like such an ass for putting them through it all.
“I need to talk to him. It…it wasn’t his fault. It was mine, and he didn’t hurt me anyway. N-not really.”
“You can try, sweetheart, but I doubt he’ll listen. Kailan likes to take care of everyone. This is going to hit him hard, even though we all know it’s not on him really,” Harris added sadly.
“You need to get warm first, before you wind up with hypothermia. Let me help you up to your room so you can shower, okay?” Nick offered as he held his hand out to me.
“I’ll make some tea to warm you up too. I’ll bring it up,” Aleks offered and I smiled gratefully, as I took Nick’s offered hand.
“I’ll lock up and meet you all up there,” Harris spoke up, then he moved towards the front door. We passed him as we turned to go upstairs. My legs were shaking so badly they would hardly move me up the stairs. Thankfully Nick noticed without me having to admit anything. He wrapped his arm around me and took the brunt of my weight to guide me up them and to the top.
Guilt filled me as I bypassed Kailan’s closed bedroom door. I just knew he was inside beating himself up when nothing he had done was actually on him. I knew how badly nightmares could affect people, and yet I had walked into his room when I knew it was likely he could be trapped in the midst of one. I was such an idiot and I blamed no one but myself for what had happened. I needed to talk to him, but I needed to sort myself out first. I was a disaster, in more ways than one.
“Just rest here for a minute,” Nick said as he led me over to the bed in my room and helped me to sit on the end. “I’ll set the shower running to get it nice and warm.”
As soon as he had disappeared into the bathroom I buried my face in my hands and let the tears free. I couldn’t believe I’d had a total meltdown again. What was happening to me? I felt like I’d lost my mind over those three weeks in hell with Soloman, and ever since I’d just been hanging on by the tips of my fingernails to sanity. It terrified me.
I felt the bed dip beside me, then I was in Nick’s arms, pressed tightly into his chest. I’d like to say I tried to pull myself together, but I didn’t. If anything, I crumbled further, his kindness breaking all of my walls down.
“Talk to me Evie. What’s going on?” he asked gently.
“I’m s-so sc-scared,” I whimpered, not daring to look up at him as I buried my face further into his t-shirt.
“Of what?”
“Of me…of who I’ve become. I…I f-feel like I’m losing my mind, Nick,” I sobbed.
“Sshh,” he soothed. “No you’re not losing your mind. Your brain is just struggling to handle everything you’ve been through right now. You just need time, and maybe a little help to process it all. It’s going to be okay.”
