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“I can’t remember much of what happened. I mean, I do, but it’s all a blur. It’s like I was there, but I wasn’t.”
“Your natural instincts to survive and heal were in full force. That’s nothing to be embarrassed about. You can use me like that any time of the day. I promise you won’t ever hear me complain.” His free hand flattens across my stomach. “How do you feel? Are you sore from taking both of our cocks.” The words are thunderous as they leave him as if he is reliving that moment.
I’ll never forget it. I was full, so damn full, and I truly thought they were going to rip me apart. Thinking about how I had both of them at the same time, I know I will want that to happen again.
“No. Remember, I heal fast.” I trail my finger down his chest, and he circles my wrist with his thick, long fingers. One quick flick of his wrist and he’d break my bone.
“As much as I love that idea—”
And according to his semi-erect cock plumping, he most definitely does.
“—We need to shower and go to The Veiled Library,” he says, squeezing shampoo in his hand. He washes my hair, his fingertips lightly massaging my scalp.
I shut my eyes and groan from his touch. I’ve never had anyone wash my hair before. “Why?” I mumble, half asleep.
“Because there is no way that sun spell has only been written once. I’m determined to find it. I refuse for you to not live life to the fullest. And we need to see if we can find anything regarding how you have Ice Elven abilities, but you are clearly a vampire.”
“I don’t think they will have the answer there.”
“Maybe not—” he tugs my hair in the back, signaling me to tilt back toward the water. “—But it is better to try than to not. We might leave with more than we know now, right?”
“That’s true. Maybe while we are out, we can go see my coven? I’d love for you to meet my family.”
“I’d love to,” he says, brushing his thumb across my lip. “Fate was kind to give me you. I’m not the nicest man. I’ve done horrible things over the last…” he trails off “…few centuries. Including the war with Cailian.”
“Are you ready to let that go? And move forward?” I suds the soap in the loofa, dragging it across his impressive chest.
“I want to be, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to give him all of me without the truth of what happened to my father.”
I can’t say I’m not disappointed. “How can this work if you and him can’t meet eye to eye? I can’t be torn between the two of you.”
“You won’t have to be. I won’t ever put you in that position. I can only be angry around him so long before I forget about it and want to be with him. I can’t promise tomorrow I’ll feel the same, but eight hundred years of fury, war, death, and sorrow do not disappear overnight. Many of my dragons died just like Cailian lost the lives of his elves. I’m thankful no one has to die for us. I never wanted others to pay the price. I don’t know how it got so out of hand. It just…” he blows out a breath that smells like a bonfire. “It just unraveled and every day my hate for him grew more.” Embers begin to flash across his lips as his emotions become stronger. “And now—” his jaw tenses, sharpening that distinctive edge that has my mouth watering for a taste. “Now the more Ifeelfor him, the more I want to hate him more, and I just—“ he hangs his head as he tries to gather his thoughts. “—I can’t. I just can’t hate him more and that makes me so damn—”
“—Angry,” I finish his sentence for him.
Smoke drifts from his nostrils, swirling high like tall towers before dissipating above us.
“It’s infuriating,” he growls, his dragon coming forth and tinging his words. “The more time I spend around him, the moreI question myself. The more I question if someone like him is capable of killing someone without reason.”
I stop him, pressing my finger against his lips. “Did you hear yourself? Without reason.” I repeat. “Without reason. Keep that in mind for me.”
“It’s all I think about,” he admits, the water shining from his chest reminding me of a vast inky pool I want to dive into. “You and he consume me, but whatever he hides, it replays in my mind nonstop. And that damn elf would rather die than to speak the truth.”
“He will one day. We will figure it out. All we can do is take this one day at a time, right? We’re all fated, but we are still getting to know one another. The truth always comes out, Nyx. Maybe not when you want, but what we want never has a sense of time. Be patient.”
He takes the loofah from me, squeezing some type of floral-scented body wash onto it before cleaning me. “And what if he killed my father out of hate? What do I do then?”
“I don’t know,” I whisper honestly, wishing I had a better answer for him. “Either you let it go and hope he isn’t the same elf he was eight hundred years ago.”
Nyx’s hands take their time across my breasts as he washes me, his stare searing into mine. A quick flash of realization ghosts over those embers from my words.
“Perhaps, I need to let the past go,” he says, sliding the loofah down my stomach. “You make it easier to do that.” He drops to his knees, lifting one of my legs as he cleans, then the other. “You are my peace that takes the place of the pieces I’ve lost of myself.” He turns me around, taking his time to clean my backside. His lips kiss each cheek before following the trail of my spine with his lips. “You make me see color when I’ve only ever seen life and death as the goals I need to accomplish. And I don’t mean living life, My Darling Jewel, I only mean breathingand waiting for death after I’ve accomplished the one thing I’ve wanted to do.”
“Which is?” I turn my chin to my shoulder, glancing up at him through wet lashes.
“Killing our firebond.” Shame riddles his tone, his black eyebrows pulling together.
The thought of not having Cailian in my life, in the bed next to me, to feel his skin against mine, to experience his kiss, to see him smile or laugh, to feel him experience passion, the torture that twists my soul is unthinkable. The agony knocks the breath out of me.
