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Shock washed over his face, and he shook his head. “Bridget. That had to have been her. We hashed things out for so long that day because I refused to fire you or send you away. We came to an agreement that involved giving you a choice about whether you wanted to stay or go. I woke up the next morning, and you were gone.”
Giving me a choice? He hadn’t wanted me to leave? I couldn’t breathe. I stood still, my hands gripping the counter behind me, and stared at him. Hehadn’tfired me and sent me away. Did that mean he hadn’t abandoned me, either? He had only given me the space he thought I wanted?
I tightened my arms across my chest. “This is really confusing. I thought you’d deserted me.”
“I can see why.” He took another step forward, bringing a wave of scent with him. “I understand your history with men, especially your dad, and why you would be so hurt feeling like I’d dropped you the moment we were called out on national television. But I didn’t abandon you. I thoughtyouleftme. And, if you’ll recall, I still texted you after you left and tried to check in.”
He had, and I was the one who’d turned my phone off for a week. My mind was swirling, trying to put each fact and bit of information in the proper place. “My brain is kind of muddled right now.” I glanced down at my sloth pajamas. “To say nothing of the fact that I look ridiculous. Next time, give a girl some warning.”
He smiled softly, pulling me in like a Sephora employee with a really good sale. “I like you in pajamas and morning hair. I like you in formal gowns. I like you in black—which seems to be 90 percent of your wardrobe. I like you in shorts with tennis shoes. I like you in bright-pink sweatpants. I don’t care what you look like. I just likeyou.”
His words were swirling around me as if they were a tornado and I was the center of the storm. Was I weak if I took him back easily? Did I want to take him back?
“Aren’t you supposed to be in Seattle?” I asked, stalling for time.
“The date isn’t until tomorrow, and I fired Bridget last night. Adalyn is handling the auction today.” He leaned forward and brushed his thumb over my cheekbone, lowering his voice. “I missed you so much. I’ve been such a mess.”
I missed him too, and I had been an equal mess, but when he stood in front of me and asked for another chance, what did that really mean? I would be his secret girlfriend? Or not a secret, just the mistress who won him in the end? Someone who was bad for his image? Someone he had difficulty trusting enough? Could I really put myself in that position again?
I felt suspended.
“Can you give me another shot?” he asked.
“I don’t know.”
My hands slid up the front of his shirt and clutched the fabric in their grip. I wanted to pull him in, to send away my heart-guards and stop being afraid.
“You didn’t trust me, Rhett,” I said quietly. “Not until someone else proved I was innocent.”
“Beth—”
“The hard part is that I understand why you felt that way. But I can’t be with someone who doesn’t trust me. I can’t. I’m not interested in sneaking around and faking and lying anymore.” I released his shirt and dropped my hands. “But that’s all you do. That’s literally your life, and I wantyou, but I don’t want that life.” I’d been pretending for long enough, and I wasn’t going to be the person I was supposed to be if I fell right back into what we were before.
He looked like I’d slapped him with my words. “I can’t change who I am. I’m in the public eye, and that will forever be a part of me.”
“Then we’re at an impasse, because I don’t want to live that way, and you can’t really change it.”
“Beth,” he pleaded, “I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you too.”
He must have taken that for the confirmation he needed, because he closed the remaining space between us, sliding his hands around my waist and pulling me tightly against him. He didn’t kiss me, but he splayed his hands on my back, rubbing up and down slowly while his cheek pressed against the top of my head. He inhaled softly, his chest expanding. I felt him from my toes to the top of my head, my hands returning the gesture and gripping his back.
My pulse thudded, every sense in my body on high alert. But my head and my heart were screaming two different things, and I had to listen to the more sensible organ.
The Beth of six months ago would never have believed I was capable of walking away from Rhett Myers on my own. She was about to be stunned.
I let go of him.
He squeezed once more before releasing me and stepping back. Then, running his hand through his hair, he said, “Will you come to the premiere? We can still be friends at least, right?”
“I don’t know. Doesn’t that seem kind of hard?”
“I’d rather be your friend than nothing at all.”
I didn’t want to be nothing, either. “What about your image?”
“I don’t have a publicist right now.” He waved that issue away too easily. His mouth slid into a gentle smile. “It could be fun.”
