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“Come on. You know you want to.”
His mouth tightened. “Why do you enjoy provoking me so much?”
I shrugged. “I guess because you react so well.”
“You see, this is the problem with you, Leda Pandora. This is why the First Angel has sent you to me.”
“Because Nyx thinks you need a little humor in your life?” I said with a smile.
His mouth fell open in outrage. “You wouldn’t risk such insubordination if you knew I could actually punish you. But Nyx was clear. No beatings. No poisoning you. And no setting you on fire, no matter how much you might tempt me to do it.”
Those sounded like direct quotes from the First Angel.
“So you’re not allowed to maim me. How awful for you,” I said, sarcastic.
“Yes. Yes, it is,” Colonel Fireswift said, perfectly serious. “But I shall endeavor to make do the best I can within these inefficient perimeters. And you shall endeavor not to shoot off your mouth.” He set down another book on my desk.
I read the title. “Angels in Conversation: Volume 1?”
“Yes. I prefer the conversations in volume four, personally. They are far subtler. But when one is training to be a proper angel, one must start at the beginning.”
I opened the book at random and quickly skimmed a page. “Colonel, you do realize that these greetings are nothing else than smalltalk, right?”
“No,” he snapped. “They are conversation starters.”
“They are things to say when there’s nothing to say. In other words, smalltalk. Talking about nothing.”
“You are missing the point.”
I looked up from the book—and into his sour face. “Then enlighten me.” I smiled.
“The phrases in this book are deeper than they appear. They are rife with hidden meaning.”
“Innuendo?”
“I prefer the word allusion.”
“How very literary of you,” I said. “But just so we’re clear, these books will teach me to lace perfectly civilized remarks with nuanced threats, boasts, and otherwise subtly establish my dominance?”
He bristled at my statement. “To put it crudely, yes.”
“Cool.”
“If you devote yourself to mastery and reflection, rather than shooting off the first thought that flashes through your head,” he amended.
“I can do that.”
“Can you?” Colonel Fireswift snatched the book out of my hands. “We shall see. We’ll now have a practice conversation and find out. You will begin.”
I stood up. “Ok.”
I returned to the door, then turned around. I walked back to him, as though I’d just come into the room.
I nodded crisply in greeting, as I’d seen Nero do. “Colonel Fireswift.”
His nod was even crisper, so crisp I could have bounced bullets off of it. Not that I was tempted to try. No, that would have been too much fun.
“Colonel Pandora,” he said.
