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Eli lifted her chin up with his hand, his gaze locked on hers. "When are you going to let me in, Holly?"
Her eyelids fluttered closed. "You are. You're inside of me."
"No." He went deep, making her gasp. "I want more. I want your heart. I want your fucking soul. This can't..." He paused, breathing hard, his breath warm against her ear. "This can't be all that we are."
Holly froze, then pushed him away, scrambling off the table. She yanked her skirt down. "Why, Eli? Why are you doing this now?"
He hung his head, then zipped up his pants before turning toward her. "I'm sorry," he said quietly.
"What do you want from me?" She crossed her arms, unable to stop her voice from wavering. "I told you, I need time. Why can't you give me that?"
He ran a hand through his hair, then shook his head. "I know you need time to trust me. To wrap your head around the idea of a relationship with me. That's not... that's not what this is about."
"Then what?" she cried. "What is it about?"
"I want to know how you fucking feel about me," he shot back. "I've told you that I'm crazy about you, Wilkes. It's pretty damned clear."
"And I've told you how I feel about you! I told you that you're the only guy I've ever really cared about." She wrapped her arms around her middle. "That I never got over you. What else do you want?”
Eli stepped forward, threading his fingers through her hair as he gazed down at her. "I want you to love me."
Her knees nearly buckled as she sucked in a ragged breath.
She did love him. But was this the right time to tell him how she felt?
She was pregnant with his child. A child that he'd never, ever want. A child that, after much soul-searching, she'd decided to keep.
Even with her Myasthenia diagnosis, she was young and strong, and felt hopeful that the pregnancy could be managed safely. She'd considered all her options thoroughly. This child was not only hers, it was Eli's. And she wanted it.
Maybe there wasn't a right time to reveal her feelings. But after she revealed the pregnancydefinitelywasn't the time. It would be too difficult, and sad. Especially since keeping this baby meant they would never be together. She was grieving the loss of a real relationship with him before they ever got to have one, and it hurt.
But could she let him walk out of her life without him knowing how she really felt about him?
"I do." She met his gaze head on. "I do love you."
"Not like a friend, Wilkes. I mean—"
"No. I'm in love with you," she said, her voice trembling. "I was in love with you in college, but this..." she paused. "It's more. And it's real."
"Holly," he murmured, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. The expression on his face was so sweet and tender, her eyes welled up with tears. "It's always been you, Wilkes. My heart has never beat for anyone but you. The rest of it... all of it, was just noise. I love you so much, Holly."
She closed her eyes as the tears slipped down her cheeks.
How long had she waited to hear those words?
Eli brushed her tears away with the pad of his thumbs, and she opened her eyes.
"You're beautiful," he told her. "Whether you're fierce and angry, or soft and vulnerable like you are right now. You're just beautiful."
"Oh, right." She choked out a laugh. "My mascara is probably running and my panties are still on the floor."
He hauled her against him, making her gasp. "Your makeup is fine. And the panties are still on the floor because we have unfinished business. Business I'd like to finish."
"How long before someone comes in here?"
"They're done here for the night," he promised. “No one's coming in. A few hundred bucks guaranteed that."
Holly took a step back and wiggled out of her skirt and tossed it on the table. Then she pulled her top over her head and unhooked her bra. She tossed those on the table, too.
