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"Nope."
Holly stilled at the serious tone of his voice. "Why?"
"Because I don't want pity. I don't want people looking at me differently because of it."
"Why would they?"
He sighed before glancing over at her. "I'm the one the guys rely on in the locker room to keep things light, okay? Ryder's job is to fire us all up. But as far as keeping things loose? That's my job, and I take it seriously. If the team finds out about all my baggage, it could fuck everything up. They'll start acting weird and shit. I will not jeopardize the room for the sake of my own comfort. Not now, not ever."
"That's admirable, but I'm not sure it's helpful to you." Holly studied him. "You know, youarechatty at night."
The corner of his mouth lifted in a half smile. "Maybe a little."
"Look, maybe you have to start by telling one person." She set down her container on the edge of the tub. "You know I'd never use something in the feature that you haven't approved. And I have never betrayed the team or used what goes on in private for the blog."
"I know, but that's not the reason I'm not talking to you about it."
She opened her mouth to reply but changed her mind. He obviously wasn't ready.
"Okay," she said, nodding. "Got it."
His brows shot up. "That's it? You're done? Questions over?"
Holly shrugged. "I'm not going to badger you. If you wanted to talk, you'd talk."
He took a bite of his chicken and stared at her, a thoughtful expression on his face. "You're not like other women, Wilkes."
"Of course I am. I just know when to back off."
Eli leaned his head back against the edge of the tub and closed his eyes. "Yeah, you do. Thanks for understanding."
She saw an opportunity to get him to open up and decided to take it.
"I stopped badgering men when my ex from a few years ago, Jonah, slapped me upside the head for not letting things go during one of our arguments."
Eli's eyes flew open, and he sat up so fast that he splashed water over the edge of the tub. "What the fuck?" he sputtered. "Hehityou?"
"Yep. That's why he's an ex."
"Jesus Christ." Eli looked more sober than he had in the past half hour. “Fuck, Wilkes."
"When it happened again, I broke it off. Told him if he ever contacted me again, I'd call the cops."
"You should have called them after the first time," he said darkly, his brown eyes narrowing.
"You're right, but I was scared." Holly blew out a breath. "I hate even admitting that, because it makes me feel weak, and I'm not weak. The whole situation scared me. He scared me. He was bigger and stronger than me. But the second time, he backhanded me—hard—and I got pissed and freaked out. I screamed at him." She hesitated, then took a sip of her water.
"To be honest, I shouldn't have done that. It could have backfired in a very dangerous way. But we were at a party, and I counted on him not being stupid enough to get even more violent with a hundred people right outside the door."
"I want to find this guy and beat the shit out of him," Eli muttered. "Mother fucking piece of shitasshole."
"Look at you being all chivalrous," she teased. "It's okay, Prince Charming. I handled it. It's ancient history."
"A man should never, ever lay hands on a woman. Ever. I'm so sorry that happened to you, Holly."
"Thanks. You know, I've never told anyone about Jonah. Not even Penn. She'd have been a worried mess."
"With good reason." He sighed. "West got lucky. Penn's a total sweetheart."
