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F O R T Y E I G H T
- Quinn -
Dear Quinn,
Assuming your father followed my strict instructions, the fact that you opened this letter means you're about to embark on the greatest adventure of your life.
For some, falling in love takes time. For others, it happens all at once. But no matter how it happens for you, you’ll reach a point when you can no more deny that it's happened than a sailor can deny a change in current.
I'm sorry I can't be there to meet the beautiful woman who won your heart. I've no doubt she is funny, kind, and fiercely intelligent. You deserve nothing less. Be warned, it's harder to keep a clever woman satisfied, but I know you're up to the challenge. You see, women aren't as complicated as you might think.
Professionally, we just want to be taken seriously. So whatever this woman of yours does for a living, when she talks about it, treat her career goals and challenges with the same gravitas that you would any male friend.
As for the bedroom, I hate to make you blush from beyond the grave, but women want to be treated like irresistible goddesses. Fortunately, all this really means is that you shouldn't take sex for granted. If a woman cares about you enough to open her heart and legs to you, make sure you celebrate every inch of her offering, inside and out. Because sex should be more than just a furious clashing of shapes. It should be fireworks. It should be fusion.
Outside those areas, women just want to be treated like little girls, which is to say they want to feel appreciated. So if a woman cooks for you, show some enthusiasm for her efforts. If she goes out of her way for you, notice out loud. If she teaches you something, don’t be too pigheaded to admit it. Little girls, like plants, flower best when they’re nurtured.
When you first fall in love, it's easy to do these things, easy to be on your best behavior, easy to be affectionate. But over time, couples can become complacent, and not too long after, they're left wondering where the love's gone.
Don't let that happen to you. Keep treating her like you're still falling in love and you'll keep falling. The trust will grow. The intimacy will grow. And all the while, the roots of your relationship will grow stronger until you can withstand any challenge together.
Your father was great at remembering the little things. He surprised me to the very end, and it counted extra because I knew what a busy man he was. I wasn't terribly high maintenance, if you’ll recall. He could’ve let me open the occasional door or come home from the odd business trip without flowers. But he never did. He worshipped me to the end. Even after I lost my hair and eyelashes. Even when I was too sick to wrap my arms around him. He never stopped treating me like I was the most beautiful woman on earth. Like he was the lucky one.
I want that for you, that great love people think only exists in books and movies. It's real. And it's magic, too. It can heal anything, take away the worst kinds of pain. It can give you wings. You just have to believe in it. And once you find it, you must choose it over and over. Every. Single. Day. That's the hard part because all relationships have storms and rainy days. But the way you weather them is by reminding yourself—especially when your partner isn't able to—why you fell for her in the first place.
Maybe this sounds like a lot of work, and it is. But anything worth having is worth working for. And I know you're up to the job because your father was the most romantic man that ever lived. And he was mine. And I was grateful for him every day.
I want that for you. I want you to find a woman who will do anything for you, who will love all of you, inside and out. Because love is the only thing that can make a man rich beyond measure and the only thing that can make a woman live up to her true potential. It’s what life’s all about.
How wonderful that you’re discovering this magic firsthand. Even as I write this, my hand is shaking with joy because I know you've become a good man, a decent man, a handsome man. And I know I would be proud of you for the choices you've made—and for your mistakes, too. After all, the way a man bounces back from his failures says far more about him than his successes.
I love you, Quinn. More than words can express. And I know I'd love her, too. So please, love her enough for both of us. Love her as much as you loved me.
If you can, I promise you'll get your happily ever after.
Embarrassing wet kisses and angel hugs,
Mom
