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Fiona smacked her forehead. “It has everything to do with you.”
“How?”
“Because deep down, you know that no one could ever love him like you love him.”
I pursed my lips.
“Can I be honest with you for a second?”
“Shit. If you weren’t already being honest I’m kind of scared.”
“Whatever. The point is, this is a good thing. And if you want to overanalyze it to death and come up with a bunch of bullshit reasons you should sabotage it and cling to the past, then you and Aiden are never going to work out.”
I swallowed.
“And it will be all your fault this time.”
I opened my mouth.
“Just like it was all the other times you hid your feelings away.”
I closed my mouth.
“Did it ever occur to you that maybe he thought you didn’t like him? That you didn’t want him to make a move?”
I shook my head. “Of course not.”
She shrugged. “Well, you had me fooled for a long time. I genuinely thought you weren’t interested in him when we first met, that you guys were really just friends. Until I got to know you better.”
“But we were friends.”
“No, you weren’t.”
“Yes we were.”
Fiona stood off the bed and faced me. “You guys were never friends, Lucy. You were a ticking time bomb.”
“That’s not true.”
“And now the bomb’s gone off and you don’t know what to do about it.”
“No,” I said. “I don’t.”
“You want my advice?”
“Do I have a choice?”
“You should stop looking for excuses to be miserable about what happened and start looking for reasons to be happy about it.”
“Cause there’s nothing I can do to change it?”
“No, dummy! Cause it’s a good thing!”
“I want to believe that, Fi. Really I do, but I feel like I can’t enjoy it until I know our friendship is okay.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Why?”
“Cause your friendship, as you knew it, is fucking over.”
