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“So you have to hide who you are to be accepted.”
“No, I protect the reputation I’ve built. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
She scoffed. “Pretending to be a choirboy when you’re clearly not, that’s real honest.”
He gritted his teeth. God, she was the most frustrating woman. And she was pushing all his buttons, just like she always did. “You’re one to talk.”
She jerked her head. “What does that mean?”
“You run an anonymous sex blog while talking about how important it is to be open and honest.”
Her eyes widened.
“Oh, yeah, that’s right. I found you, Miss Victoria.” He smirked. “It wasn’t that hard when you know what to look for.”
She stared at him openmouthed, and he continued: “How are you any better than I am? Did you think after your mom bragged to anyone who would listen that you’d been published in the New York Times that I wouldn’t Google you? So it was funny when you showed up and told me you wrote a sex blog. A real bad-girl profession, all while pretending you don’t write respectable, literary think pieces on sexual politics and gender issues under your real name?”
Her expression twisted, and, for one horrible moment, Griffin thought she was going to cry and felt instantly contrite. Instantly sorry.
She wet her lower lip with her tongue. “You’re right. Who am I to talk?”
She went to leave, and he gripped her wrist. “Darce, wait.”
“No.” She pulled away. “You’re right. But it’s not the point. I don’t like the way this town makes me feel. I don’t like the way you make me feel.”
“How do I make you feel?” He didn’t want to know. His stomach already bitter with the knowledge that he’d hurt her.
When she met his gaze, he could see the brightness in her eyes and hated himself for it. “Like I’m not good enough.”
Right then he knew the truth. She’d never worked through any of those childhood feelings; she’d hidden them away and pretended they didn’t exist. And being home was forcing her to deal with all of them. That she still saw herself as that teenage girl, convinced everyone was judging her and finding her lacking. “That’s not true. Name one person who’s treated you badly since you got here.”
“Gina.”
He scoffed. “Gina’s jealous of you.”
“I know.” Darcy’s voice sounded soft and hurt, and Griffin wanted to take her in his arms.
“Nobody thinks you’re not good enough.”
“I know that here.” She touched her temple. “But it doesn’t change how I feel.”
“I’m sorry.” He looked away from her.
“I’m sorry too.” She took a deep breath and blew it out. “We’re the past and that’s where we need to stay. We’re not good for each other, Griffin. We don’t fit. Not anymore.” She looked away from him. “If you want honest, I’ll give it to you.”
He waited. Knowing he’d hate what he heard.
She pressed her lips together for a second before speaking. “I can’t just have sex with you. I can’t have a good time with you in bed and work out this tension between us, because there’s too much history there. Too much baggage and hurt. And the truth is, fair or not, I’ve never really forgiven you for not coming with me. That you loved this town more than me.”
He looked out the window and let the defeat wash over him. “I loved you. You know I couldn’t leave my brothers. And I pleaded with you to stay. I asked you to marry me.” He’d never told anyone of that humiliating day when he’d begged her to stay, getting down on one knee and asking her not to leave him.
“I was right to say no. We were kids. It would have ended in disaster.”
“You were right.” It had still fucking gutted him. His dad had taken off, his mom had been sick, and his brothers needed him. It had felt like everything important in his life was falling apart, and she had to insist on leaving. “I’m just saying you’re not the only one who got hurt.”
“Then I guess we’re even.” Her voice was soft and distant.
“I guess so.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Me too.”
She got out, and he didn’t stop her. Didn’t even look at her. When he heard the door close, he gunned the engine and drove away.
