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She was. Terrified. Only she didn’t know what she was so afraid of. It was like staring into a dark abyss she didn’t understand or couldn’t make sense of. She didn’t want to think about it. It was too hard. She saw the glimmer of something she’d never had before with Ryder, but she didn’t know what to do about it.
Not that it mattered, because they were over.
She shrugged.
“He gets you, Sophie. Really gets you. And that’s rare.”
She wanted to reject it, because it was true but it was over. It was too hard to think about what she’d just lost. She frowned. “We have chemistry and awesome sex.”
Penelope sighed, full of exasperation, before she spoke. “Evan told me something Ryder said to him yesterday that I think you should hear.”
“What’s that?”
“Evan said he’d never thought he’d meet a man that could tame you. And do you know what Ryder said?”
Tears fell on her cheeks and she shook her head. “What?”
“He said he hadn’t, that he didn’t see the point, because he liked you wild.”
Sophie’s chest squeezed tight, so tight she could barely breathe.
“That’s what love is, not wanting to change the wild. How many men do you think come along like that in a lifetime?”
Sophie started to cry again. Not many.
* * *
When Ryder moved to Revival, he’d done it because he’d needed a change. To do something new and break out of the routine of his life. The last thing he’d expected was to gain a group of friends, which wasn’t what he thought he’d needed but sure seemed nice now.
Ryder, Charlie, and Griffin sat at Sam Roberts’s bar, drinking beer and watching a game on TV as Ryder nursed his broken heart and tried not to think about Sophie too much. They didn’t ask him a lot of questions, didn’t bring her up, but he knew they were all there for him, making sure he didn’t drown too much in his misery.
After the long drive back from Chicago, where there’d been nothing but the roar of the motorcycle he’d driven, the endless stretches of cornfields, and silence, he’d had far too much time to think about her. He wanted to take it back because he wanted her that much, but he couldn’t.
“Another?” Sam said, pointing at his almost empty beer.
He nodded. Charlie and Griff had collected him at about three, and this was where they’d been for the last five hours.
Sam slid a bottle in front of him. Ryder drained the last of his current beer and handed it over. He was well on the way to stupid drunk, and that suited him just fine. Numbness was preferable at this point.
Charlie sat on one side of him, Griff on the other, bookending him in silent support. He took a drink, put the bottle down, and frowned. “Why did I think giving up casual sex was a good idea again?”
Surprised he’d spoken out loud, he blinked.
Griff laughed. “Because you’re in your thirties and it gets old as fuck.”
His brow furrowed. “I was wrong. It’s much better.” He turned to Charlie. “Maybe you have it right. How the hell do you sleep with a woman for months and not get attached to her?”
Charlie shrugged. “Easy.”
“How was it easy?” Sophie had him from the first time he’d kissed her in the Rileys’ kitchen.
Charlie grinned. “You want me to tell you where you went wrong?”
“Yeah, I do.” Because he’d sure as hell gone wrong. He’d known from the second he’d laid eyes on her she was insanity. He’d gone into it fully comprehending that he wanted her and she was leaving. They were supposed to have an affair. He wasn’t supposed to fall in love with her. Where had he detoured so absolutely?
And why the hell couldn’t he make what she was willing to offer him enough? It should be enough. Because being without her was awful. Half of something was better than nothing, wasn’t it?
Only, something inside him couldn’t take it. He couldn’t articulate why, but it was true.
