Page 135 of Head Over Heels


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Maddie pointed to an empty table, getting them out of the way of other people trying to pay for their meals. They sat and she shook her head. “I don’t think there’s anything you can do. She needs to get through it on her own.”

Ryder ran a hand over his jaw. “I hate that I’m hurting her.”

“I know.” She looked over her shoulder before blowing out a breath. “When Evan and Penelope got together, I was so mad at him.”

Ryder didn’t have a fucking clue what this had to do with him and Sophie, but he kept his mouth shut instead of snapping in frustration the way he wanted.

“When I talked to him, I chastised him and said he should have picked Sophie.” Maddie met his gaze, her green eyes intent and level on him. “I said Sophie could take it. That she’d be able to get over him because she was Sophie.”

He nodded, not trusting the words that might come out of his mouth.

She sighed. “I see now I was wrong. She’s only like that because she’s never really cared before. I think, after this, I see now how she views things.”

The fine hairs on his neck lifted and he leaned forward. This seemed relevant to the cryptic shit Sam had spouted that night in his bar. “And how do you think she views things?”

She was silent for a bit, staring at the table like she was attempting to puzzle something out. “You know, right? How she grew up?”

He nodded.

She blew out a breath. “It’s hard to explain, I’m not sure I entirely get it, and I know she doesn’t. But in her mind, because her parents always chose each other and their endeavors over her, she just doesn’t really expect anyone to love her. To choose her. Not because she has low self-esteem, like it would be for most people, but it’s more like it never occurs to her. Like she has some sort of a mental block about it.”

What Sam had said fell into crystal-clear focus, and everything made sense. “I don’t think I can fix that for her.”

Maddie narrowed her gaze. “Did you tell her you love her?”

He shook his head.

“Why?”

He didn’t want to shift the conversation to him, but Maddie had been so forthcoming he couldn’t deny her the answer. “She doesn’t see a future with me. I’m not saying she doesn’t want it but that she doesn’t see it. I didn’t want to lay that on her when I know where she wants to go.”

“I think that’s the wrong choice.”

“She wants to go back home, Maddie.”

“Maybe you are her home and she doesn’t realize it.”

“I don’t know. I hope so.”

Maddie glanced toward the door. “I need to go. She’s waiting for me.”

She got up to leave but turned back to him. “You know, one of you is going to have to break down and take the risk. I think it’s going to have to be you.”

He had nothing to say to that, so he nodded and watched her go before getting up and returning to the table where Charlie sat.

Charlie raised a brow at him. “Feel better?”

“Nope.” He slid into the booth, mulling over what Maddie said, what Sam had said, and what he understood about Sophie. The things nobody else knew about her but him.

The truth was he didn’t know the answer, didn’t know what direction to turn, but there was one thing he could do, and he’d take care of that tonight.

Until then he’d need to bide his time until the answers became clear.

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