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Chapter Eight
The hour had grown late, Sophie was officially intoxicated, and after the kitchen she’d stayed as far away from Ryder as possible.
That kiss had shaken her. And it had shaken her badly.
The force of her lust, her longing, her willingness to forgo all her rational common sense when it came to him worried her. Scared her. Her reaction to him—it was too strong, too volatile, their chemistry too out of control to be comfortable.
He reminded her too much of the bad decisions she’d sworn off when she was in college and was addicted to a guy that was no good for her. Tony had been her first real boyfriend. She’d always been reckless, up for anything and flying by the seat of her pants. Back then, she’d loved anything wild, and when she’d met him as a sophomore in college he’d called to everything inside her. She still cringed when she remembered her devotion, ignoring all the red flags and everyone’s warnings that he was no good. When he’d finally grown bored with his psychological warfare, his abandonment had left her with a hole she’d thought would never fill. It had, but she’d sworn never again, and she’d kept her promise.
Less reckless and wild. Less willing. She’d stuck to her vows and cleaned up her act, and she’d never regretted it.
Yes, sometimes it made life a little too safe, a little too predictable, but it was a hell of a lot better than suffering that kind of loss. Better than ending up with some guy that didn’t treat her the way she deserved because she was too obsessed with him to walk away.
Ryder reminded her too much of how she’d been, all that rushing, crazy chemistry and wild abandon. Which was why she needed to stay away from him. The right path was a guy like Bill. Guys that inspired white picket fences and school districts. Not guys that made her want to go down on them in the kitchen at a party.
Ryder had tried to corner her later on, but she’d slipped away from him. Penelope had tried to corner her too, but she’d avoided her, not wanting to talk about or explain her actions.
Now she stood in the powder room of Maddie’s house and tried to figure out how to drive home with him and not attack him. The problem was she had no self-control around him. Nowadays if she slept with a man it was because she wanted to, because she liked him and he was skilled and fun. Not because it was compulsion. Aching need.
She knew what she had to do. She ran her hands through her hair and gazed in the mirror.
Her eyes were glassy, her cheeks flushed, and even all these hours later she could feel the hard press of his mouth on her. She shuddered.
God, had she ever been kissed like that?
She couldn’t remember.
She didn’t think so.
The best thing to do was go on the offensive.
As soon as she got in the car she’d tell him that kiss was a mistake. Because it didn’t matter how much she wanted him. Ryder Moore made her crazy. And craziness like that, never ended well, so she couldn’t even start. If she broke the seal she’d be lost.
So she couldn’t break the seal.
Secure in her plan, she took a deep breath and left the bathroom, taking the small hallway to the kitchen and out the back door to the yard.
As soon as she stepped out of the house, his gaze flickered down her body.
Instinctively, she shivered, feeling him everywhere. The sensation of him between her thighs imprinted on her skin. “You ready, Sophie?”
No she wasn’t ready, but it was time to go home. She nodded. “Sure. I’m going to sleep for a week.”
She hugged Penelope, who whispered in her ear, “I’ll be calling you tomorrow.”
“Yes, Mom.” Sophie smacked a kiss on her cheek.
She hugged the rest of the group, and when she reached Maddie, she smiled. “I’m drunk. Mission accomplished.”
Maddie laughed. “Good. Me too. Isn’t it awesome?”
“It is.” Except for all the stupid decisions she wanted to make.
Maddie pulled back and beamed. “Do you know how excited I am that we can have lunch next week?”
“Me too.” The one good thing that came from the disaster of her life was she got to see Maddie all the time. Whenever she wanted. Just like the old days when they were teenage hellions and they’d go out after school and make mischief. She leaned back and slanted a sly glance at Maddie’s husband, Mitch. “You are so screwed, because we are going to cause so much trouble.”
“God help us all.” Mitch shook his head, but his expression was amused.
