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“Jesus…”
“No, it’s Lyra,” I tease, moving up slowly with his finger, whimpering softly every time he teases my clit. I can’t take it, I push his hand away from me and turn around, standing on my toes to kiss him. He grabs me and moves me so he can push me against the wall, using his body to pin me there as his tongue probes my mouth. He tastes amazing, a mixture between coffee and a mint gum.
His hand is between my legs again and this time he teases my hole with his middle finger, slowly playing over it before sliding his finger into me and curling it, making me gasp into his mouth.
“Lyra? Sorry to bother,” a voice calls out.
I try not to groan in frustration. JJ pulls his lips away from mine, but continues to move his finger slowly, giving me a fucking cheeky smile.
I look up at JJ intensely as I try to keep my voice steady, “Yes Sheldon? We’re just in the middle of something here.”
“I know,” Sheldon says. Oh, but he doesn’t. JJ’s sliding a second finger into me and I’m biting my lip.
“It’s just, there’s someone here to see you. He says his name is Jason Mathers? He says it’s important he sees you.”
My blood runs cold and I couldn’t have dried up faster. I push JJ’s hand away and straighten my dress. “Coming,” I call.
JJ gives me a perplexed look but straightens himself out, “I’m going to the bathroom,” he comments, and once I’ve shifted the boxes he makes his way there quickly before anyone can see him. I swallow hard and take a deep breath before I walk out.
It’s him.
It’s Jason.
The man who shattered my world into a bazillion little pieces, just standing there with his crooked smile and dimpled chin and his wavy brown hair. My heart sinks deep into my chest as I see him, and I feel my throat tighten up. There are flowers in his hand and he holds them out to me.
“Hey Lyly,” he says quietly, “these are for you.”
I don’t know what I should do so I take them. “Thank you, Jason,” I say quietly before giving them to Sheldon to put in a vase, “What are you doing here?”
“Can we talk? Outside?” he asks and I shiver slightly; his rough voice always had that effect on me. I nod and we walk to the door. I’m keenly aware of everyone’s eyes trained on me, and I know they’re all trying to work out who the hell this guy is that’s just rocking up at the studio with flowers for me.
As we stand outside he takes out a cigarette and lights it, offering me one. “I didn’t start smoking again.”
“Good for you, it’s a filthy habit,” he says, taking a deep drag of his smoke. He always tasted of smoke and energy drinks, it was his thing. I remember the way he tastes very clearly.
“Jason, what are you doing here?”
“I don’t know Ly,” he says, looking at his feet, “I honestly don’t know. I just know that I miss you a fuck ton, and my life has been miserable without you, no matter what I try do to distract myself.”
“Jason, things ended badly…”
“I know and I’m an asshole for what I did to you, Ly, but I’ve been to therapy and I’m on meds, I’ve sorted myself out.”
“That’s good Jason,” I say, and I can feel a shred of hope for him in my heart, but my mind is still in charge, “But I don’t know, things…what you did…”
“What I did was wrong and it was my fault, and I’m here to apologise. I want you back, I want us back together, but even if you don’t want that, I still want to apologize at the very least for what I did to you.”
I’m touched by the sincerity in his voice and I swallow hard, fighting back the tears that are threatening to overwhelm me. He never apologised, not once in the time we were together. Everything was always my fault, my doing, and he could do absolutely no wrong. This was huge for him, I understand that, this took for him to come all the way here to admit his faults. That shred of hope in my heart was getting bigger, and I could feel my feelings and my brain battling it out over what I should do. I thought about JJ, and the way he tasted, but suddenly I couldn’t quite place his taste anymore. I just wanted to taste cigarettes and energy drink again. I wanted something familiar. Something stable. Something I called my own and didn’t have to question. Suddenly the idea of not knowing what JJ and I were terrified me, and I was more afraid of the damage JJ would do to me than Jason.
Was it so bad to want to believe someone could change?
I sniff and Jason reaches out to me, stroking my tears away gently with his thumb. I lean my head into his hand and close my eyes. The next thing I know his lips are on mine and that smoky taste invades my mouth and dulls my senses. His slick tongue slides between my lips and I groan softly; I’m still hesitant so his tongue does all the work, running over mine and exploring my mouth. I lean into him slightly and he wraps his arms around me, holding me close as we kiss.
No.
I gently push him away and shake my head, “I can’t just forget what happened.”
“I know, baby,” he strokes my hair out of my face, “But please, give me a chance. Just give us another chance. I’ll make it all up to you, I’ll heal all the hurt I caused you.”
