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Jedrik bent, placing his mouth to her ear, and said something.
What happened next went down fast. Delara stomped both feet on the floor and knocked her chair back, throwing Jedrik off balance enough to unlock his arm. She kept the motion going and the chair flipped onto its back. Delara went with it and swung her legs over her head, kicking Jedrik in the chest. He staggered back several steps until he fell into some guy sitting at the bar.
“Sorry, man, girl trouble,” Jedrik patted the guy on the back.
Delara placed her hands on her hips and smirked at Jedrik. “Ten to six. I think you forget I’m a Tracker. I knew you were here before you did.” She laughed. “Arrow, you’re losing to a woman. Badly.”
He shrugged while ambling toward the table. “I don’t mind losing to a woman. I just hate losing to you.”
She snorted, but smiled.
“They have this stupid contest,” Danni explained, leaning across the table to catch my attention. “One point if you get out of a headlock. Jedrik just lost.”
“That’s because I didn’t want to frighten Rayne. So I took it easy.” Jedrik pulled up a chair and pushed it between me and Delara then sat. He winked at me again and grinned. “So, living with Sass?”
“Sass?” I asked.
“Yeah. I call her Sass. She calls me Arrow. Nicknames since we were little shit disturbers. Her more than me. Sass, should I tell her the story about the horse trampling—”
“No,” Delara said and shot him a scowl accompanied with a shot to the ribs with her elbow. “No stories. You exaggerate and make half the shit up.”
The waitress brought Jedrik a beer and everyone chatted and laughed while I watched and listened. I noticed Balen kept his guard up, eyes scanning the crowd and darting to the door when anyone came in. Protective. Although, I was uncertain from what.
After a couple drinks, we headed out and I think it was because of me as Delara kept asking if I was okay. I wasn’t really. The drink went straight to my head, and since I barely ate, my stomach sloshed sugary piña colada and was unsettled.
As we headed for the door, Jedrik snagged Delara’s hand and yanked her aside. He leaned in and got right in her face, and from his narrowed eyes and tense body, he was angry. When he was done saying what he had to say, Delara simply rolled her eyes and smacked him on the arm, saying something back before moving toward the door. He followed, looking really unhappy; gone was the playful smirk and cute dimples.
She came up beside me. “Okay, let’s go.”
We said goodbye to Jedrik, Balen, and Danni outside the pub and headed back to the gallery. It was only a few blocks away, but after the first block, my legs began to shake and my heart rate spiked. I inhaled slow, deep breaths and concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other.
Shit, I had to lie down. It was too much. Everything was bearing down on me all at once. Kilter leaving. Being surrounded by Scars and trying to keep my blocks up. No food in me. The alcohol. My body was shutting down and I had no way to stop it.
My knees buckled.
Delara grabbed my arm before I collapsed to the sidewalk. “Rayne! Shit, you okay?”
“Yeah. I… I, ah, tripped.” I was glad the street wasn’t well lit and Delara couldn’t see my eyes; otherwise, she’d see the lie blazing in them. Unfortunately, my body had other plans as my vision blurred and everything spiraled.
I crashed to the ground. Then blackness.
When I opened my eyes, Delara sat on the edge of the bed holding a warm washcloth to my forehead. It took a second before my vision cleared and I realized where we were. It was the bedroom, my new bedroom, in the gallery.
God, it had been months since I fainted. How did Delara manage to get me back here?
I tried to sit up, but Delara put her hand on my shoulder. “Don’t get up. You’re still really pale.”
The duvet was pulled up over me, and yet I still felt chilled. I’d fainted a few times at the compound, but each time had been during one of Anton’s sessions when he pushed me too hard. “How did I get here?”
Delara removed the cloth from my forehead. “I called Jedrik. He wasn’t far.” Her brows lowered. “If I had my way, we’d be at the hospital.” Delara’s tone was soft, but there was an underlying tense tone. “But Jedrik called Anstice and we gave her your vitals and what happened, and she said you more than likely passed out.” She paused. “This isn’t the first time, is it?”
I stared at the ceiling, knowing I had to do something or, like Kilter said, I was going to die. “No.”
She squeezed my shoulder. “You need help, Rayne. And if you don’t get it soon, you’re going to drop in the middle of the street one day. What if you’d been alone tonight?” Her hand slid from my shoulder and she sighed. “I know you can’t see it, but you’re fading away. Your body can’t function without fuel, and you’re not giving it any.”
“I know.” And I did, but I was safe here. I had control and no one could hurt me.
“Your body is screaming for help, and if you don’t give it what it needs you will die. I don’t think you want that. Not now.”
“There is so much more.” This may have started as a way to protect myself, but over the last number of years, it developed into much more than that. It became my power and I didn’t want to lose that.
“All the more reason. Jedrik called Waleron and he thinks he found someone you can talk to.” Delara reached for the bottled water on the nightstand and cracked the lid, passing it to me. I sat up, tilted the bottle, and swallowed a few gulps. “I get that it’s hard to change and you don’t want to. Shit, I run from everything, and I’ve done some stupid things, still do. But I’m not sick, Rayne. And, I’m not dying.” She paused. “Will you try?”
She was right, but facing the reality of it was harder. I’d fought a battle inside myself for so long, and I was emotionally and physically exhausted. I wanted to find peace, but there was only two ways. Let go or fight harder to win this battle.
I just didn’t know if I had any fight left in me.
