AllFreeNovel
Share Us
She dragged her tongue across her bottom lip, smearing and moistening the powered sugar dusting her mouth. My dick hardened even more. I could tell she didn’t do it on purpose. There were girls who knew what they were doing. They used their sexuality to their advantage, and God love ’em, I appreciated the effort. Bella knew she was attractive. She was confident in her social skills. But she had no clue how actually hot she was. That was very obvious to me.
Even now, she seemed nervous, debating how to answer. “I was thinking you could show me.”
So she went there. I was impressed. Turned on. I wasn’t sure where the fuck her fiancé fit into all of this, but she definitely had my attention. I ran my hand over hers, lacing my fingers through her fingers. I had been both hoping she would say that and dreading it. Because I couldn’t do this. There was trouble and then there was “are you fucking crazy?” I had already done that and look where it had landed me. Fistfights with my brother and being tied to Ali for the rest of my life.
As tempting as it was to prove to Bella that being spanked could be all sorts of fun, I did not need to be embroiled in any more complicated shit than I already was. Besides, she didn’t want to do this. It was bravado. She wasn’t the cheating kind, I could tell.
“What’s in it for me?” I asked. Because hey, everyone thinks I’m an asshole. I needed to push her away, and being brutal would do just that. “Because you’re high maintenance by your own admission.”
Despite my desire to win, to feel like I had her, I needed to push back, piss her off, get her to change her mind. She would regret doing this, even if it was to improve her sexual prowess. Hell, she was probably going to regret even this conversation tomorrow. Imagine the guilt if she let my dirty local cock inside her blue-blooded body.
Her jaw dropped. Tears filled her eyes, which shocked me. I wasn’t expecting her to be hurt, even if I did want her to come to her senses and realize this was not a great idea. I thought she would be haughty, disdainful. But she blinked back tears rapidly while I swore.
“Bella…”
“I don’t know,” she said, sounding stunned. “I really don’t know. I…I just…I don’t know.” For a second she looked like she might actually faint. Her eyes rolled back in her head, her breathing became shallow.
I shook her arm. “Hey, hey. Come on, don’t scare me like that.” Alarm shot through me and I felt like the biggest prick on the planet. “I’m sorry.”
“I don’t know what I was thinking,” she murmured. “I mean, God, how arrogant of me, right?” She gave a laugh that was slightly hysterical. “Why would you want to have sex with me after I just admitted I’m terrible in bed?”
“I’m sorry,” I repeated because she looked so vulnerable, so stricken. “That was rude.”
Damn it, I felt like shit, which was interesting. I kind of liked that I could feel bad. Lately I had steeled myself against any emotion. Now I was the one being haughty and disdainful, which was ironic as shit. Being the guy who fucked my brother’s girlfriend had made me defensive. An asshole. I had a wall up in front of me and I didn’t care about anyone but my family.
But suddenly I felt bad for the princess with tears in her eyes, sugar clinging to her lip.
“I just thought, well, guys want to have sex all the time. With whoever,” she said, her voice trembling. “Isn’t that the way it works? I can tell you, and I’m not being conceited here, that guys have been trying to sleep with me since I was like thirteen. Which is gross. But true. So I just thought, I don’t know. Oh my God, how insulting is it of me that you know I have a fiancé and yet I just asked you to have sex with me? I swear, I wasn’t trying to say anything about your character.”
That was a little too close to home. I shifted uncomfortably. The last thing I wanted her to feel guilty about was insulting my moral character. This was really getting off track. “I mean, sure, under normal circumstances I am not one to turn down no-strings-attached sex with a beautiful woman. But I just don’t think you really want me to do this.”
Her voice was soft, but at least her eyes had focused again. “What do you mean?”
So we really had to go there. God, I was nicer than I ever gave myself credit for, because I was going to spell this out for her and leave myself with blue balls. “So let me get this straight. You are getting married next Saturday, right?”
She nodded.
“And from what I can tell you are normally a pretty straitlaced and kind girl, am I right?”
“I mean, I try to be. Kind, that is. I guess I am straitlaced. I like, you know, convention.” She took another bite of her doughnut.
I tucked her hair behind her ear, feeling oddly tender toward her. There was more to this than what she was telling me, and she had kind of made it my business. Plus I wanted to touch her, and this was the closest I was going to get to that. “Then why in the hell do you think you could have sex with me and not regret it later when guilt comes crashing in on you?”
“Oh, God.” She dropped the doughnut. “Because I thought maybe if I could be a freak in bed, Bradley would quit cheating on me with bar sluts.”
Ah, suddenly it all made sense. So even beautiful rich girls were not exempt from life’s hurts. “That sucks. And I’m sorry.” I hesitated, but then figured why not? She needed to hear the truth. “But in my experience nothing you do is going to change his behavior.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means you might not want to compromise your own moral standards to attempt to please him when it probably won’t even matter.” There was a reason they say “once a cheater, always a cheater.” Because it was fucking true.
All I had to do was look in the mirror.
I was attracted to women I couldn’t have because it was easier that way. I didn’t have to worry about falling for someone or being asked to make a commitment I knew I would fail at. My twin had always wanted that happily ever after we had never experienced growing up. Me? I had just wanted superficial fun.
Ironically, I had wound up a father instead. I wouldn’t trade Camp for the world. Yet I still didn’t want a relationship. The very thought made me wince. A relationship was just two people repeatedly letting each other down. Like my parents.
“I don’t know,” Bella said. “That’s so cynical.” She reached for her wineglass and sipped. She gave me a weak smile. “But thank you for being honest. And for not just figuring I was a way to get your rocks off.”
