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If we can survive death, then I feel sorry for what the universe throws at us next. I am not afraid.
Chapter 28
Cole Garner
The truck jostlesa little as we pull into the cemetery. It looks entirely different during the day than at night. The stones’ smooth surface glares under the rays, and the short grass sways in the breeze.
With the truck windows down, I can smell the sweet scent of wildflowers at the edge of the lot. The small mountains are more visible under the sun, and truth be told, it’s an even more breathtaking place for a final rest than I figured before.
As the truck hits another hole, Tegan curses a little while clutching the two roses, one in each hand. I wince because, even though she was released from the hospital today, she has to still be in pain. “Sorry,” I mutter.
“It’s okay,” she answers, but I can hear the pain in her voice. “They really need to redo more than half the roads in this town.”
I grin a little at that because she isn’t wrong. I’m just glad she’s alive to say it.
The last few days at the hospital were smooth sailing. That is all except Tegan’s dire need to be released. The doctor wouldn’t budge on that though, no matter how many times Tegan begged. She had a major trauma to her chest, and he wasn’t about to let her out of his sight. I didn’t say it out loud, but I completely agreed with him.
I stayed with her every day and each night, only leaving to shower and change clothes. Because I’ve barely stretched my legs, I’m feeling a little restless. I’m sure she feels the same.
As soon as we stepped foot out of the hospital, she demanded to go meet my sister. It must have been how close she was to death that compelled her desire to do such a thing, to visit the grave of someone long dead. Or maybe, since my sister was a big part of my life, she wanted to know that side of me as well. We had talked about my past several times while she rested in her hospital bed, each topic more uncomfortable than the last, but I’m done hiding things from her. I love her, and I want her to love every part of me, even the ghosts that haunt me from my past.
Something tells me she can chase those ghosts away.
When we’ve reached our destination, I park the truck and look over at Tegan. I eye each rose and grunt, “Are those really necessary?”
“Yes.” She scowls at me. “We’ve talked about this, Cole. It’s what you do, bring flowers to graves of loved ones.”
“But they’re dead.”
She chuffs. “You and I both know that dead doesn’t always meandead. She could still be watching.”
I grunt as I grab the door handle, hop out of the truck,and head to the passenger side. There’s no point in arguing with her. If she’s compelled to do this, then I’ll stand watch while she does.
I’m careful to help her out of the cab, making sure she doesn’t have to make unnecessary movements that could cause her pain.
The breeze makes her hair float about her face, and the sun shines on her creamy skin. Just a few days ago, that skin looked ashen; close to a corpse.
“Where’s she at?” Tegan asks as we round the truck and dip into the rows of tombstones.
Without responding, I lead us to my sister’s grave and then stuff my hands into my pockets when we stand before it. A slow breath leaves her lungs while I hold mine in, waiting for her to say something, anything, to make the ache in my chest go away.
“Bethany Ann Garner,” she reads. She glances at me, reading the pain in my expression, and adds on a whisper that the wind catches, “That’s a beautiful name.”
I nod once, not trusting my voice. And I think she knows that standing before my sister with the woman I love is almost too much to handle because she doesn’t ask me any more questions. Instead, she steps forward and lays one rose on the flat surface of the top of the stone.
She hovers there for a moment, hand pressed against the rose, before she speaks, and it’s not to me. “I’m sorry I never got to meet you, Bethany.” My heart twinges. “I’m sorry how horrible your life was, but everyone who wronged you is either dead or put away, thanks to your brother. He protected you. And I know that you may not be around, listening to me prattle on, but I just wanted you to know that I’ll take care of him. I’ll see to it that he is loved and that he laughs, and I hope you can rest in peace knowing that.”
I look up at the sky, forcing a few tears to disappear by blinking rapidly. No one has ever cared enough for my sister, no one except me. But Tegan’s words touched something inside me, caressed the grief to soothe the wound. I don’t know if she’ll ever know how much that simple speech means to me.
When she’s finished, she comes to me and wraps her free hand around my middle. “From what you told me, I think your sister and I would have gotten along well.”
I tip my head back down to tuck her head against my chest and kiss the top of her hair. “You would have.” All she ever wanted for me was a life better than what we had, to see the world differently than something so dark and twisted. To have a life outside of protecting her. I was so serious, and all she wanted was for me to smile. And now I have all that with Tegan.
All too soon, she pulls away and begins moving to a freshly dug plot a few rows over. I know where she’s going – we discussed it when we bought the roses – so I dutifully follow her until she comes to a stop by the grave.
Neil Wordon’s name is etched across the stone. His brother had his face engraved against the surface. It was a nice touch, even for someone who hated him.
“May you rest in peace, Neil,” she murmurs as she sets the second rose on top of his stone just like she did for my sister.
