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“So I quit and went in search of a new position or internship,” I say. “Each interview was with a man named Robert or Michael or Richard who would address me as ‘sweetheart’ or ‘young lady’ when they were telling me they needed someone with more experience.” I roll my eyes. “Interns don’t need experience. Apparently, they just need—”
“Danglies,” Derek says, making me laugh. “So then what?”
I polish off my bowl of cereal ice cream and set it aside. “Then I gave up.”
“Bullshit,” he says with emphasis and completely unsarcastic.
“I did!”
“I don’t believe you. I’ve never known you to give up on anything.” But as soon as he says the words, we both register them the same way. There is one thing we both know I gave up on. Derek doesn’t mention it, though, and neither do I, but his smile dims a little.
I shuffle my legs against the soft comforter. “My favorite coffee shop was hiring, and I really needed money—so I took that job and licked my wounds for a long time, until one day, Nicole and her fabulous five-inch stilettos waltzed into my coffee shop.” I can still hear the sharp clicks of her heels echoing off the floor. “I knew her frommy research while sending out applications, and she was one of the people I never heard back from. I introduced myself with a clever coffee pun and then asked her if she would look at my application.”
“Did she say yes?” He takes another bite of nature’s homemade dental floss.
I laugh a little too loud. “No. She hated me instantly. She said I was too friendly and cute for this business and to stick to slinging coffees.”
“Ouch.”I love his grin.
“No, I appreciated it. Because for once, I was turned down for a concrete reason. The reason was her own internalized misogyny that she was completely unaware of—but it was a reason I could battle against too.” Those weeks when I was trying to win Nicole over were some of the best in my entire life.
“Nicole came into the coffee shop like clockwork every day. I memorized her order and made sure it was ready for her when she needed it. And then I started jotting down all the reasons she should hire me on the sides of the cups—as well as stats from college athletes I thought she should take note of.”
“And?” Derek asks with glinting eyes, knowing me too well. “What else was on the cup, rookie?”
I smile. “A knock-knock joke.”
“Figured. Did it work?”
“The jokes worked against me—but in the end, I wore her down. She came in one day, took the coffee, and on her way out the door called over her shoulder,Be in my office Monday morning at eight.And that was that.” I shrug a single shoulder, remembering that moment like it was filmed and stored in my brain among my happiest memories. I like to replay it when I’m feeling low or beat down and it reminds me to keep going. Keep fighting for what I want even when everyone else tells me it’ll never work.
I don’t realize until a few moments go by that Derek is staring at me with gentle eyes. “I’m happy for you, Nora. You’re good at what you do. And I’m glad you didn’t give up on your dream.” A fuzzy little creature curls up in my stomach at his words.
“Same goes for you. I screamed so loud when they called your name in the first round of the draft.” My smile fades when Derek’s eyes sharpen on me. I realize my mistake instantly.
“You watched for me in the draft?”
His blue gaze pins me down. I want to hide from it so he doesn’t get a chance to see the truth. That I have followed every inch of his career. That I have watched him achieve every milestone, career goal, and success. That I have regretted losing him more times than I can count. And that while he forgot me so easily, I’ve always been hung up on him. That I’ve learned to live with that fact.
Instead, I nudge his knee playfully with my foot. “Come on—don’t make this weird. Of course, I watched the draft. I’ve watched every draft since I was six, and my dad let me have chocolate cake if I watched it with him.”
But I wasn’t watching it that year for my dad’s attention…
“Right,” he says, attempting a smile that doesn’t make it to his eyes and then sets his empty bowl aside.
The silence is so thick I can’t even swallow. Our friendly moment has vanished into something heavy. Surely Derek isn’t disappointed thinking I didn’t watch the draft for him? He’s over me. Literally said he doesn’t want to be friends.
So then why does he look like that?
The tension is too much, so I pop off the side of the bed. “It’s getting late.” I pull my toiletry bag and a change of clothes from my suitcase. “I better brush my teeth before I fall asleep and forget. Because you know what they say about teeth…?”
Derek shakes his head, already regretting that he’s indulging me. “What do they say?”
“Clean teeth are godly teeth.”
“That is absolutely not how the phrase goes.”
I scrunch one eye shut. “Respectfully—Ithink you’re wrong.”
