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I slide my phone out of my pocket and dial Ryland’s number. He picks up almost immediately.
“Hey man, I’m almost done mixing this track. It’s fucking fantastic.”
He chuckles, and I can hear some shuffling on the other end of the line. “Prompt as always,” he says. “You never fail us, Griffin.”
Something about it brings a smile to my lips. It’s when I get to work for bands I enjoy that I remember why I wanted to do all this in the first place. Ryland’s band, Elephant University, is one that always reminds me how music should sound, and I take pride in working on the tracks they put out.
“Hey, so listen,” he begins. “We’re opening for a bigger band early next year. The tour is short. We’ll probably be on the road until the first few weeks of April. Anyway, they’re looking for a new audio guy. Someone to mix front of house at the shows. Do you know a guy?”
I run my hand over the back of my head. “I don’t know anyone off the top of my head who isn’t already tied up.” I clear my throat, my heart pounding in my chest, thinking about what Ryland’s saying. “I mean, I’ve done sit downs and larger productions before. On the tech side of it I could do it, but I’ve never truly considered going on tour. I’m not sure I could make a decision that fast.”
It’s true. If they’re looking for a guy, I could probably do it. My mom’s words linger, etched into whatever wall I’d formed around the idea. My heart thrashes against my sternum, pounding an erratic rhythm as I think about it.
Could I leave my family?
Ellis?
I don’t linger on the second thought. I haven’t known her that long–its ridiculous.
“Oh sweet. Is that something youmightconsider? You know we’d love to have you. We love your stuff, obviously.” Ryland’s seriously asking me this.
I clear my throat again and question if it’s weird I’ve done it twice now. I’m fucking nervous. It would be a cool opportunity, but I’m not sure I can commit with my job at the college. I’d have to quit to go on the road for a few months.
“I’m probably not the best option,” I admit. “I’ve got that job at the college, and I’m not sure I’d be able to take the time. I could help you guys out in a pinch, but committing to something like that would take a lot of consideration.”
For one, I’d lose my health insurance.
Though it would be so fucking cool.
“Yeah, that’s alright. We’ll keep looking. You said you’re sending files over?”
I check everything on my monitor, clicking around before hitting send.
“Just did,” I say. “Hope you guys like it.”
Ryland’s laugh breaks through the speaker of my phone. “Always do, man. Talk later.”
I lean back in my chair, my eyes wide as I try to process the offer just thrown at me. It’s not the first time someone offered me a gig, but something about this feels different. I’ve had a longstanding relationship with Ryland and his band. It might be cool to test out something new.
I hear the front door of my apartment open and spin around in my chair.
“Just me,” Noah calls, and I grab my coffee to take another sip.
“I’m in the cave,” I announce.
Noah walks through the closet door, throwing himself down on the beanbag in the corner. The same one Ellis sat in just under a week ago.
“What’s that face for?” Noah asks, and I quickly school my features, shaking my head and turning to the monitor to pretend to do–something.
“Nothing,” I mutter.
“Right.” I can hear the smile in his voice. “So, how’d time with your girl go?”
I grab my phone, flipping to the freelance website to see if I can get any more jobs done before the end of winter break. “Not my girl,” I say, though it doesn’t feel true. I’m down so bad, I wouldn’t be surprised if I pissed in a circle around her the next time another man glances in her direction.
“You never do anything halfway, Griffin. And honestly, it’s not that often you’re interested in a girl. You’re like a serial monogamist or something.”
I twist in my chair, hoping to sound as casual as possible. I don’t feel like unloading all the shit that happened when my brother died. It’s not something to relive. He’s gone, it’s fine. “I don’t like to fuck around,” I say, keeping my tone even.
