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“But, sometimes they don’t.” I blink, that hole in my chest aching. “Whatever happens when or if you decide to meet this man, you remember a couple of things. You do not owe him for existing. You are not a burden that your aunt had to carry for your mother.” A tear spills down my cheek, blazing a trail before I wipe it away with my free hand. “And most importantly, you can always–always–walk away. You want to let this man into your life, then you go right ahead and do it. But if you don’t, there’s no sense in feeling guilty. He made a choice all those years ago, and we are all responsible for our own choices.”
Rupert pats my hand another time, winks at me, and rolls his chair back around until I’m left sitting in my cubicle with tear stains on my nice work shirt.
I grab my phone off the desk and text Finn.
Me:I miss you.
His response is almost immediate.
Finn:I love you.
B’s porch light is on when I pull into the driveway. I don’t even make it out of the car before she comes out, a large cardigan wrapped around her, and her eyes puffy and pink.
Has she been crying?
I step out of the car. “Hey,” I say.
B wraps her arms around me, holding me in a tight hug. I melt into her, allowing the familiar scent of oranges and spice to soothe my nerves.
“I love you, you know that?” Her voice is muffled from where her face presses into my hair. “I love you so fucking much, Ellie. And I’m so sorry. I know you don’t understand why we never talked about him, but that man was shit. Absolute shit.”
I tighten my grip on her. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen B break apart. She’s always been so strong.
B pulls away, wiping her face before placing her hands on my shoulders. “I’m not trying to keep you here, Ellie. You’re a grown woman, and a damn good one at that. I don’t know how it happened, but you became everything I could have ever hoped for.”
I nod, not really knowing what to say.
“I believe in second chances, so I’m not going to tell you anything to sway you one direction or the other, but just know that no matter what happens, we love you.”
She places a kiss on my cheek and walks away, leaving me staring after her in the driveway.
My knee is shaking again when the waiter comes around a third time to ask if I’m ready to order. I reassure him I’m waiting on someone, but he doesn’t seem to believe me.
Looking toward the door, I notice Adam walk in. Between his mussed hair, the untrimmed beard, and the harsh look on his face, I can’t see anything in him that reminds me of myself.
But when Adam sits across from me at the table, his brown eyes boring into my own, I finally see it.
“Hey, kid.”
My fingers clasp around the glass of water, drawing in a long sip. It’s already awkward. “Hi,” I say.
Adam picks up the menu, and I watch him scan the entrees. Since I’ve been waiting on him, I already know what I’ll be ordering.
The waiter comes around and we place our orders.
“So, you came to the art show because–” I let my words trail off at the end, waiting for Adam to fill in the blanks.
“Thought it was about time I met my daughter,” he says, offering a half smile. The expression is gone before it even appears. Adam picks up a piece of bread from the center of the table and stuffs it in his mouth. “Heard your mom died. Saw your name for that art show, and figured it was about time.”
I wince, taking another sip of water to soothe the burning in my throat. “My mom died when I was thirteen,” I say. “How far do you live if you saw my name advertised for the show?”
Adam presses his elbow to the table, making a show of thinking about my question. “Oh, you know.” He taps his fingers on the white tablecloth. “Two hours or so.”
An uncomfortable feeling stirs in my gut, something nagging–dark. “You’re just now wanting to meet me?” I ask. “And you live that close?”
He offers another one of those half done smiles, and my stomach churns. “First time for everything.”
I nod and silence stretches across the table as we wait.
