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We’re making out like teenage kids, our hands groping every private part on the other’s body. “Tonight, I want to share one of my favorite kinks with you. I know you’re on the pill, and we’re both clean.” We’d said goodbye to condoms several weeks ago.
“Yeah, I trust you. So, what do you have for me?”
“I’ve had this desire for years, but never found someone I’ve loved or trusted enough to do it with.”
I love her smile. It’s a little devilish and sweet at the same time. “Well, you know I’m game.”
“Okay.” I sit up a little bit and bring her closer but where she can see my face at the same time. “So I know we can’t do it fully, not right now, because you’re on the pill. But it’s a kink that signifies the passionate arousal at the thought of impregnating someone.”
She stills, her body becoming rigid. “I know it may sound clinical and cold, the way I’m explaining it. And, I’m not trying to knock you up. It’s just a kink that is erotic, and the idea gets me off.”
She relaxes in my arms, and she tilts her chin to me. “So, just the idea, right?”
“Oh, yeah. The thought makes me hard even thinking about it. Fuck, do you feel my cock.” She moves her hand over to it and begins to stroke it.
“Please have your way with me,” she begs.
It’s a little chilly in the night air, and with the covers over us in the large outside chair, I move my body down and begin to lick her pussy. “Oh, you’re wet for me, baby. So fucking wet for me.”
I hear her giggle.I love her giggle.“It’s not hard to become wet, Dom, when you’re so hard for me.”
I don’t speak but begin to get her pussy ready. She moans in the night air, and I’m like a horny teen ready to lose my virginity. It’s always so new and raw and real with her.
“Dom, I need your cock inside of me. I need it deep and right fucking now.”
I trust her so much that I don’t have this need to always dominate, like I have had to in the past. But I still have something to say about this. “Okay, but you’re giving me demands, and that’ll have to end soon, baby.”
She laughs, as a challenge, but soon adopts an obedient tone. “Sir, yes, sir. My king of orgasms, have your way with me.”
With the blanket still covering us, I push up and begin to kiss her, but as we get lost in it, I thrust my cock inside of her tight cunt.
I break free from the kiss, as I watch her, marking her with the intention that one day I’ll really put a baby inside of her.
“Dom, this is perfect,” she cries out.
“Do you know what’s perfect, San?”
Sandra’s face sparkles as we stare into each other’s eyes. “What’s that, Dom?” Her pussy clenches around my cock, and I let go as she rides out her orgasm at the same time as me.
“This, you. One day, I’ll put a baby in your belly.”
I collapse on her, as our orgasm continues. And this is the night I’ve been waiting for. Until I can get her pregnant, this is the second-best thing.
nineteen
SANDRA
The words play back in my mind. One day,I’ll put a baby in your belly.How stupid could I be? He’s a decade younger than me. Of course, he wants a family. But I wasn’t kidding when I said this has happened too quickly. Am I supposed to say to every man I sleep with—just so you know, I don’t want children, so keep that in mind if you ask me out again.
After he fucked me outside, we made it to our bedroom upstairs, but sleep never came.
I finally said fuck it and welcomed the sun on the deck as it rose. I’m wrapped in a blanket, drinking my coffee. He didn’t want to get serious because his parents screwed him up. I assumed he didn’t want kids. But now I understand he wants children, with me.
Otis followed me downstairs this morning. He was sleeping outside the closed doors and had been excited to see me. The large chair that houses both of us is comfortable. I keep thinking of Dom, and me, and how we want two different things.
I’ve known for some time I don’t want a child. After watching Cami pregnant with Bridget at thirty-seven, I was past the age of wanting babies. Cami is a pro. I’m not worried about her but I’m a different person. Women do it all the time, and very successfully too. And maybe, if I was still a spring chicken, it would be different. But not at forty. At this age, we’re as old as dinosaurs for wanting a baby. They referred to Cami at her new OB doctor as having ageriatric pregnancy.
The sun is fully up, and in the hours I’ve sat out here, I’ve had a chance to digest everything from last night, but I realize I’m no closer to saying goodbye. I can’t say goodbye to Dom, but am I being fair to him? He’s much younger than me, and so many people his age are having children. Why should I be the one to stand in his way?
