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My knees turn to jelly and my legs threaten to give out as I force air into my lungs. I can’t look away. For years, I’vewondered what became of him. Some of the only good dreams I’ve had have been of staring into molten amber eyes, feeling the tips of Gael’s auburn hair against my skin as he left trails of kisses across my body. He’s the only lover I’ve ever known, and someone I called my friend.
At least hewasmy friend. The same person who taught me pleasure made me understand a completely different kind of pain.
Everything between us changed the day Gael convinced me to steal Asmo’s keys. He’d been in the cell next to mine and only a wall of iron bars had kept us apart. They were spaced just enough that we could pretend they didn’t exist, and when the day came that Gael was scheduled for execution, his only request was for one night with me. One night where we didn’t have to pretend the bars didn’t exist.
He knew that Asmo favored me, and I was too gullible to see it. The moment I handed him those keys, he didn’t come to my cell. He didn’t even unlock my door. He’d left me in the dungeon to rot.
Seeing him now, alive and well as ever, I don’t know how to be happy he survived. It’s fucked up, I’m not normally the type of person who wishes someone dead, but apparently betrayal has that effect on me.
All hints of the teenage boy I knew, the one who barely had meat on his bones, is gone. It’s been replaced by a man with lean, sinewy muscle, who’s void of the flirtatious aura that once surrounded him. His hair is longer and more shaggy than it was in the king’s dungeon, his eyes brighter, and healthy. It’s a wonder I recognized him, and honestly, if it weren’t for the wide-eyed stare he’s giving me, I might not have.
“Calamity…” He seems to say my name more to himself than to me. “How?”
His eyes rake down my body, a hand lifted like he might try to reach out to make sure I’m real.
“It doesn’t matter.” My voice is clipped and I lock my jaw. “Trust me, if I were a ghost, I would’ve been haunting you all this time.”
“I’m… I had to. They were going to kill me.” His brows tilt, feigning empathy. As if he ever cared. If he had, he wouldn’t have abandoned me.
I was never punished for taking those keys. Asmo believed I was too young and naive to know that everyone’s out for themselves, but he did stop storing prisoners on my floor. Until now, I had peace of mind that Gael got what he deserved. I thought Asmo hunted him down and ended his life or had thrown him into the riff. Now it’s like the wound I stitched closed, the heartbreak, has been ripped wide open. It never truly healed. It only festered and now it’s like poison dripping through my veins, ready to wreak havoc.
There’s nothing more I can say… The words come to my mind in fragments. We’re supposed to be securing rooms for the night so I don’t freeze in the darkness of the woods, yet it’s like I’ve forgotten how to speak. Letting out a shaky exhale, I drop my gaze, desperate to contain the fury boiling up in my chest, heating my veins until I fear they’ll burn to the surface.
I can sense Loric’s piercing eyes boring holes into my soul. Power invades my senses, swirling in the air around me, but it’s not mine. It’s his. Gentle fingers slide up the back of my arm, as soft as feathers.
“We should go. We’ll find somewhere else.” Even though Loric’s voice is level, the way the words are shoved through clenched teeth gives away his struggle to remain so. He grips my wrist, leading me back toward the door.
The tension doesn’t ease from my shoulders until the hell flame warms my skin and the cool air wisps around me. Gaelmight still be feet away, but it’s easier with a solid door between us. Hell, I’d prefer an entire realm be placed between me and that man.
“You said no one knew who you were.” Gone is the gentle tone, replaced by a growling tone as colorless eyes narrow into lethal slits.
“That’s because no one who matters knows I exist. The king secluded me to the dungeons and only a few guards were allowed on my floor. The only prisoners I had contact with were on death row. No one was supposed to know me outside of the castle. Not even my sisters are aware of my existence.” I take my wrist back, shooting a glare his way while rubbing at the joint.
“I can’t do my job unless you’re honest. That man knew you.” A muscle in his cheek feathers. “I will not get myself or those close to me killed because you wish to keep secrets.”
“It’s not like I purposely kept this from you. I didn’t know he was alive.”
“Who is he?” Loric doesn’t so much as blink. His shoulders are set and his mouth is pressed into a firm line.
“He’s no one. Gael won’t tell anyone. If he did, he’d land his ass back in the dungeons. As is, he’s lucky to be alive.”
“I won't take the risk. He tells one person and the king will know you're alive. It's not just you he’ll come for. It'll be all of us and if he discovers what me and the people protecting you are, death will be a blessing.”
I never thought about what my father would do to them. Obviously, I knew he'd toss me in the riff for stealing one of his nine lives, but what about them?
“What'll it be, Chaos? Give me one reason not to end that man's life.” Loric crooks a finger under my chin, lifting my face. “It better be good.”
“I'll tell you who he is, but only if you tell me what you are.”
His lips split into a grin too wide for my liking. He only ever smiles like that when he's up to no good. “What I am doesn't matter. I'm giving you a chance to save that man's life.” He drops his hand.
“I couldn't care less about what happens to him, but I deserve to know who's protecting me. It's bad enough you're rebels…thieves.Why would my father take interest in your kind? Why wouldn't he just kill you?”
His eyebrows raise for a long moment, then without a word he brushes past me.
“I deserve to know if I'm traveling with a monster,” I yell after him, my words making Loric stop in his tracks.
He whirls, storming back toward me and pointing a long finger at my face. Craning my neck, I try not to flinch away even though the sheer size of the man is intimidating enough.
