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“I miss them both.” The bright glow of my eyes goes out and for some reason, I feel emptier, like a magical force that had wrapped around me, keeping me safe, offering support, vanished along with it.
“I can’t change your position or what’s happening to you, but for what it’s worth, you’re holding it together a hell of a lot better than any of us would in your situation.” The woman offers a small, empathetic smile. "Asmo and your other friend might not be able to go with you, but they’ll always be with you. You’ll see them in everything you do, every fact you know when things they taught you come to mind. All of us have lost people, our families, and it gets easier the more we rely on each other as one.”
Except I’m not one of them… I might not even be the same species of shifter. I’m a job, but maybe, once we get where we’re going, her comment will stand. I’ll find a new family—a chosen family of friends. At least I can hope so. The idea makes me feel a little less alone.
Desperate for a change of subject, I lift my head, resigning to tear my eyes away from my reflection and keep them away for good. All it does is bring about memories that for the moment, I need to forget. The only problem is, I have no idea what to talk about, and something tells me if I stay silent, Vik will feel the need to reassure me more.
As much as the topic ofheatsandmatesmakes me queasy, it’s something I’ll need to know. So, I grit my teeth and open theconversation again. "You mentioned trying to stave your…heatsoff. How often do they happen?"
Vik shrugs, pushing back her wet hair. "Depends. For most, every few months. Some go into heat more frequently, some less. And of course, there are ways to delay it, through herbs or sex...other means." A sly smile plays on her lips.
Vik must notice my unease as I cringe at the idea of sleeping with someone out of aneedinstead of awant. She places a hand on my arm, expression softening. "Don't worry, when and if the time comes, Loric will be there to help you through it.” She winks, grinning wide.
Whether her comment was meant to lighten the mood or not, I’m not sure. I know she’s messing with me, but it doesn’t help the nerves settling into my bones. What if we don’t make it to wherever we’re going in the outer realm before I have a heat? Even if we do, I might not have time to find someone… And she made it seem like ignoring these primal urges to mate could drive everyone around me into madness.
I swallow hard. “Yeah… We’ll see about that.”
Vik slips under the water, rinsing the last of the grime and blood from her pale skin and fiery hair. I follow her lead, sinking beneath the steaming surface. In the dark warmth, I can almost imagine things are simple again. That I'm an ordinary woman, enjoying an ordinary bath in the dungeon. That I didn’t uproot my life by trying to kill my father or make the person who loved me most forget me in order to keep me safe. That silver eyes don’t excite me in a way I can’t explain…
That all of it can disappear.
Chapter 13
Calamity
With my bloody clothes now scrubbed and rinsed–well, the best I can in these conditions–I spread them out along the drying bar, drilled into the stone wall. The air, heavy with steam from the hot spring, makes me doubt how much they’ll dry in here, but it’ll have to do.
Beside me, Vik's movements are brisk as she shoves a shirt over her head. Unlike my nightgown, which I'm beginning to regret, she's chosen to get fully dressed. She rolls up the long-sleeves of the midnight-colored linen, and leaves the leather straps weaving through the V-neck collar untied.
There’s no way that shirt is hers. She’s either scavenged it from the rooms down here or it belongs to one of the men. It’s easily three sizes too big, the fabric draping over her thin frame, the frayed hem resting against leather riding pants. They hug her thighs and hips like a second skin. I’m not sure how she moves in them.
A dagger is strapped to her side, as if she needs to be ready to leave at a moment's notice. It’s a stark contrast to my linen gown that suddenly feels too vulnerable…too exposed.
I've never been one for modesty, nor am I ashamed of my appearance. Growing up under constant scrutiny, with zero privacy forced me not to be. It made me comfortable in my own skin, but seeing her ready to walk out the door and journey into the forest, has me wondering if I’m as underdressed as I feel.
Vik fluffs her hair and stands up straight. She's tall enough to rest her chin atop my head with ease. In fact, all of them seem to be taller than average, or perhaps I’m the opposite, and it’s taken me twenty-five years of my life to discover I’m short.
“Alright, let's get you to a room, yeah? You must be exhausted,” Vik says, opening the door. I smooth my hands over my nightgown. It falls just above my knees, and the thin straps threaten to slip off my shoulders. Bare feet padding against the cool stone floor, I approach the doorway, my boots and canvas sack in hand. I don’t get a chance to double check that I have everything before Vik loops her arm through mine and tugs me into the chilled air.
It’s like hitting a wall. I suck in a breath as my stomach collapses in on itself and the cold wraps around me. Goosebumps spring up as a shiver rakes through my body. Shoving down the urge to go back into the room with the hot spring, where the air was warm and inviting, I force my feet to move, fearing they’ll freeze in place if I don’t.
It’s as if the air has grown colder since we left the others. Perhaps it has, with the hell flame gone. I’ve never been outside during the yearly blackout and the dungeons are heated by fire. Who knows how cold it truly gets, or how fast the icy chill descends upon the realm.
Vik lets the door slam and the noise cracks like thunder across the vast room, drawing the other’s attention. Loric, Mira, Jesper, and Brenn are gathered around one of the tables, playing cards in hand and their faces illuminated by the flickering light of nearby torches.
There's no sign of Faelor, though I’d been under the impression that both he and Brenn were meant to stay with the horses overnight. Something must have changed, but I can't say it didn't give me peace of mind, knowing Brenn wouldn’t be down here. Now that he is, I doubt I’ll get a lick of sleep. Even if his sister is one of the kindest people I've ever talked to, he still pushed me in front of that cat. Him wanting me dead isn’t going to change in mere hours.
Every gaze in the cavern slides toward us. There’s a hunger to their eyes, a curiosity that both piques my own and sends a wave of unease swirling through my gut at the same time. Even Brenn isn’t immune, his gaze lingering on us until Mira slaps his arm with her injured hand. He nearly chokes on his drink, his cheeks bulging, as if the very act of swallowing is a challenge. The others don’t pay her any mind, unabashedly following us with their eyes as Vik leads me towards what will be my sleeping quarters for the night.
“Did we walk in on something?” I’m incapable of tearing my eyes away from them–from him. Though Loric’s face is devoid of expression, there's something in those silver eyes... something indefinable, palpable, as if his stare is tracing the contours of my body with ghostly fingertips. The air seemingly crackles with a static charge and his eyes begin to glow with an intensity that sends my heart into a wild cadence.
We approach a wooden door as Vik casts a glance over her shoulder. “Ah, that. It would seem like your beast started something that his beast intends to finish.”
The door hinges protest with a high-pitched squeal, and I reluctantly tear my gaze away, following Vik into the small bedroom. “What does that mean? Started what?” Panic whittles its way into my bones as I cross my arms, running my hands over them in an effort to keep warm.
Vik pops her lips, clearing her throat as if to buy her time to form the words she’s looking for. “She tried to court him, it’s what shifters do when they wish to mate with someone.”
“Like sex?” My eyebrows arch. I didn’t even know this other side of me existed, yet she’s already trying to screw people? What is happening?
