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"For what?" Her emerald eyes blink at me, confusion lacing her brow. "Digging?"
"No." I pause, the words tumbling out with more honesty than I intend. "For honoring them."
Understanding dawns in her emerald eyes, and she gives me a smile brighter than the hell flame. “The honor is all mine.”
"It’s about godsdamn timeyou two showed up," Griffin calls out, leaning against the trunk of a thick oak tree with a lazy grin. His white hair gleams in the dark forest like a beacon, making it impossible to miss him.“I was certain you’d been eaten.”
“Me? Never.” I pause, looking Valeria up and down. “She’s who you need to worry about.” I set the canvas bag down at my feet as we near him.
“I’m just glad you both are in one piece. I debated playing hero for about half a minute and decided the two of you weren’t worth becoming that witches fuck toy again.” He crosses his arms, eyeing my bare chest with a white brow lifting in silent question. Though, when he scans Valeria, he seems to settle on the idea that nothing beyond digging happened. “I see you’ve lost your clothes again.”
“You dig up over two dozen bodies, then you can tell me how hot it gets.” I roll my eyes, pulling my shirt free from where it’s looped through my belt. Wiping away the sweat beading on my brow, I meet his false, all-knowing eyes again.
“Don’t lie to me. You’ll find any excuse to not wear a shirt. I think you just like to show off your scars.” Griffin tsks his tongue, shaking his head. “I bet the ladies swoon for those.”
“Or, I just got used to being on my own in a realm where everything can fucking kill you and no one gives a shit if you’re clothed or not. If anything, some of the more civilized creatures left me alone when they saw my scars. It’s a survival thing really, if you think about it.” I tick my head, as if giving the thought my stamp of approval, then get to work dragging out bundle after bundle of bones from my sack.
Valeria is already beating me, seeing as hers is half emptied already. “You were in the Realm of Monsters?” she asks, eyeing me over her shoulder.
“I was. Yes.” Dropping my gaze to the task at hand, I busy myself. Everyone’s expression is always the same when they realize I was in the prison realm, and after everything today, I’m not sure I can stomach her gawking at me. Not in the way that says I’m a monster. I hear it enough from everyone else.
“Were you born in there, or were you thrown in?” Judging from her voice, she’s moved closer. Hell, she might even be right behind me but I don’t have the heart to look. It’s not something I want to go into right now, but after the way she’s treated my people, I can’t tell her no.
She deserves to ask her questions, to judge me. I’ll give her that for what she’s done for them.
Griffin, however, beats me to it. “He was pushed in there by his mum.”
“You do not speak for me.” My nostrils flare wide as I breathe in deep, locking my jaw until the muscles in my cheeks twitch. I do my best to tamper down the anger roiling through me, but it’s easier said than done. I can still hear it in my voice when I finally dare to speak. “But he is right.”
“I’m… I’m sorry.” Valeria sets her hand on my shoulder, but when I don’t look at her, she crouches down beside me. “I didn’t mean to upset you… I didn’t know.”
Setting the last bundle of bones out, I blink long and hard before meeting her gaze. I expected her to be afraid, to scent it in the air, to have her jolt away from me now that she knows—just like everyone else does. Only, she doesn’t. The only thing I see in her eyes is concern.For me.
There’s no one else alive that’s ever truly been concerned for me, except Alice. Not even my brother. He’s sort of just assumedI can take care of myself. Yet, it’s so blatantly there in her eyes… I can’t look away.
“It’s okay,” I say, standing up before I can act on the need to put my hand over hers, to solidify that I’m not just saying I’m fine to ease her nerves, but that I mean it.
I start spreading out the bundles into a wide circle, while Griffin and Valeria get to work turning those bundled bones into skeletons laid out on the forest floor. Something burns in my chest, searing through the stone I’ve wrapped around the most vulnerable part of me. I hate it. I shouldn’t feel it.
Dammit, Alice…She justhadto bring up the idea of me moving on with someone else. I wasn’t even considering it until she brought it up. And I’m still not, but now the idea is floating around and making me feel things I shouldn’t have any interest in.
"Careful with that femur," Griffin quips, his voice light. "Wouldn't want our friend here to limp into the new life."
"Very funny," Valeria retorts without missing a beat. Her focus never wavers from the skeleton taking shape under her skilled hands. Her ears twitch as she continues.
It doesn’t help that Valeria has some of the same ticks Jade did. The adorable ear twitches for one. It cracks open my chest, revealing a part of me I don’t want exposed.Ever. As long as it’s sealed away tight, no one can leave me. No one can trick me into a prison realm, and certainly, no one else can die because I couldn’t save them. Or worse, at my hands.
With Alice, it’s different. She’s immortal and we’ve literally had a trial by fire, having to rely on each other while in the prison realm. I trust her because she’s had every opportunity to betray me and hasn’t. How am I supposed to love someone again, when not even Alice has been privy to parts of my past, and she’s the person I trust most in this world?
I shouldn’t feel comforted around the woman who stabbed me. Yet, Valeria, and that godsdamn hand…
I hate myself.
I shouldn’t feel anything, nota fucking twingefor someone else. Not after what I did to Jade. Not after letting down countless others whose lives depended on me to protect them… I don’t deserve it.
Summoning salt bags from the storage bays in Hell Hold, I tear open the corner and start to draw a large circle in the middle of the ring of skeletons. This is where I’ll sit. Then, one by one, I connect each of the deceased to the middle ring with a chalky white line of salt.
When I’m finished, I take my spot, cross-legged in the center of that middle ring, just as Griffin and Valeria finish preparing the last of the skeletons. Her dark hair tumbles over shoulder, the wispy tips sweeping over the leaves on the ground as she bends over. Weathered skull in hand, her slender fingers aligning it with its spine.
