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He grabs the back of his neck. “I don’t know.”
“That’s not an answer!” I scream. “You—you…left me.” The walls I’ve built crumble. My lip quivers, and the tears come. “You told me you would keep me safe. You promised me!” I slam my fists into his chest, and he takes every hit.
“I know. I’ll never forgive myself for what I did.”
“I hate you,” I cry out, falling apart in his arms. My knees buckle, and he catches me. “I hate that I love you, and I hate you for that too.” I hide my face in his chest and cry.
“I’m so fucking sorry,” he murmurs into my hair. “You deserve to hate me. But I can’t go on without you understanding why I did it.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore. The damage is already done.”
He cups my cheeks, forcing my eyes to his. “If you want that, I’ll let you go. And this will be the last time you’ll see me. But I don’t think that’s what you want. And I pray it ain’t.”
He doesn’t get it. He just doesn’t understand. Breaking free from his hold, I walk over to the papers I dropped and throw them at him. “Why?”
They fall to the ground. He doesn’t bother to look at them, his eyes trained on me. “Because you deserve to be happy.”
“You used the trust money. Why?”
“You know why.”
“I want you to tell me,” I say, my voice firm.
“Because it’s the only way I know how to fix what I’ve done. I led you right to that bastard. I caused this. I was supposed to protect you and didn’t.” He pauses to take a breath as I wipe away a tear. “I felt like I was dying every second he had you. Minds…” He takes another step but stops himself from coming any closer. “You became this enigma to me. This beautiful soul that somehow broke through my darkness. I’d been in a dark place for a long time. Fuck, I don’t remember my life ever not being ugly. Then you walked through Monroe’s door with that attitude and feisty mouth. You were this big personality and beauty, and God, I wanted to protect you, but I wanted you to be mine more. I told myself there was no way someone like you would ever see a piece of shit like me for anything other than what I was. But you were so persistent and aggravating, and you drove me up a damn wall. And I wanted you so bad, it scared the hell out of me.”
I wipe away more tears. “This all would have been great a month ago when I stood in front of you and gave you a part of myself that I’ve never allowed myself to be vulnerable enough to give anyone. Why did you use the trust money?”
“Because it’s the only thing I had to offer. The only way I could make it right. And if it brought something positive into your life, maybe I could find a way to live with myself for what I’ve done.”
God, I hate him. I swallow the lump in my throat. “And you think buying my forgiveness will make me forget the nightmare of being held captive by a maniac?”
“No, of course not. But knowing you’re happy, doing what you want to do, building a new life for yourself, no longer allowing your past to determine your future, and using the money and going to college…will get me through. I have to live with my choices and decisions; I don’t have to allow you to do the same. I just want you happy.”
A sob rips up my throat, and I lunge at him. He wraps me in his arms, bringing me flush against his chest. “I still hate you,” I mutter into his chest.
“It’s okay. I’ll love you enough for the both of us.”
I pull away, my eyes locking on his. Through blurred vision, I see a man who has my heart. And no matter what’s transpired between us, that won’t ever change. “This isn’t a truce. This isn’t me forgiving you. But right now, I need you to shut up and kiss me.” His lips crush against mine, and the floor beneath me sways. My fingers claw at his back, and he holds me tighter to him. I bite his bottom lip, eliciting the sexiest growl. He picks me up and carries me down a long hallway to the most magnificent bedroom. I don’t have a chance to truly take it in because he lays me on his bed and joins me, dropping his body onto mine.
“I’ve missed this mouth,” he says, pressing kisses to the sides of my lips before offering me his full mouth. “Not being near you, not touching you. I’ve felt like I’ve been dying.” His open palm slides down past my belly. “Being inside you.” I arch my back as he slips a finger inside me. “Every part of you has haunted me.”
“Tate,” I beg. His thumb presses to my clit as he sinks two more through my flesh.
“I told myself, if I ever got another chance to tell you, I would make sure you knew…”thrust,“deep down in your soul…”thrust,“that I fucking love you.” My body spasms, and I clench around his hand. In a flash, his fingers are gone. His clothes disappear next. I’m still seeing stars as he rips down my pajama pants, pushes my thighs apart, and settles the crown of his cock at my throbbing sex. “Tell me you forgive me.”
“Tate.”
“Tell me so I can show you just how bad I fucking need you. How you need me. How much I’ll make it up to you. Let me love you—”
“Seriously, shut up. I forgive you, now fuck me.” He pistons into me, stealing my breath. There’s no more talking, no more confessions. We shut it all off and become nothing but feelings. Raw. Emotional. Passionate. It’s a homecoming of our hearts and a silent promise from our souls.
He fucks me into delirium. Spasms begin to rock through me, and I cry out. Tate’s eyes are wild, showing me how much he’s teetering on the edge of his own release. He grips my hip and raises my leg, driving deeper, then pulling back with shallow, hard thrusts. Air seizes my lungs, and a silent moan of undeniable pleasure expels from my lips as my body convulses. He shouts my name, his cock pulsing as he comes hard inside me.
He falls against me, his heart thrashing with mine. So many things I want to say swirl through my mind, things we should discuss, but I’m spent, physically and emotionally. And with the added help of some rocking orgasms, I pass out.
Chapter thirty
Tate
