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I’m a bad friend. I chuckle and say, “Kidding! He hasn’t moved a muscle. You’d think he’d try to smile on his wedding day, though. Does his face evernotlook like he’s scowling?”
She sighs, shaking her head at me. “Seriously, horrible time for jokes. And no. It’s what makes him him. He always smolders.”
“Oh my god, are you comparing your future hubby to DerekZoolander?”
“Sure did. I mean, duh. Theo could be a model and that snarl? It’s totally smoldering.”
We both have a good laugh. “Remember that one guy you went on a date with, and all he did was recite quotes from that movie?”
“Yeah, it’s why I thought he could have been the one. Freakin’lovethat movie.”
No truer facts have been spoken. “Okay, you ready for this?”
“Shit. I think so. Why the hell am I so nervous?”
“Because you’re about to get married. And be super rich.”
Fay slaps my arm. “I’m not marrying him for his money.”
“Well, I know it’s not for his charm. I get it. Sex will make us all do crazy things—”
“Mindy.”
“What? I’m just saying.”
“Look who’s talking. I didn’t see you put up a fight when Tate asked you to move into his place.”
Dammit, she wins there. “He has a fancy big TV with HD and shit. It’s like watching those housewives slap each other in real life.” Who would have thought Tate is actually well off himself? I quickly learned from his ritzy condo andtoysbeing a guard dog pays very well.
“Sure, and nothing to do with the job promotion?”
“Minor details. I barely even remember what job he took.” Which is also a fat lie. Along with the proposal to move in with him, Tate came home and put an offer on the table I couldn’t refuse.
“You want me to move in.”
“Yes.”
“Here.”
“Thought that part was obvious.”
“You and me, like, living together?”
“It’s what two people do when they move in together. Amongst other things.”
“Such as? May need some examples.”
“If we live together, you’ll be close at all times. Makes it easier for me to eat your pussy whenever I please.”
Wow, going straight to the core. Literally. “Eh, what else?”
“Community shower. I’d take the work off your shoulders. Wash your hair, your body. But I’ll warn you, after getting you all clean, there’s a strong chance I’ll make you dirty again.”
It’s impossible to hide my blush. “I mean, I do believe in conserving water. But meh, what else?”
He drops an envelope on the table. “What’s that?”
“Open it.”
