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My eyes flutter open. His fiery gaze stares into mine with an intensity that tilts my axis. Then I see it. Regret. His mouth opens, and I cut him off before he can say anything more, reaching for the door handle.
“Fucking gross. Don’t ever do that again.” I tear out of the car, my heart racing and hands shaking. Anger floods my veins, mixed with confusion. Why did he just kiss me?
He appears next to me as I reach the side entrance door and enter the studio. “Unless you want to get slapped by a bunch of bitchy porn stars, I’d wait out here.” Then I open the door to the dressing room and let it slam behind me.
“You’re back!” I startle, my eyes shooting to Gretchen.
“Hey. Yeah. Go me.” She gives me her signature Gretchen hug and pulls away. “What does Russell have you working on tonight?”
My stomach twists. “Chad still.”
“Gotcha. Hopefully, he won’t mess with you… ya know, after everything that happened.”
Great. Everyone knows.
“I’m sorry, but you know how it is around here. Cops show up and ask everyone questions… Russell had to tell us. I can’t believe that happened to you. Are you okay?”
I wave her off. “Yeah. Just wrong place, wrong time. I’ve got to get changed. Russell’s waiting.”
“Of course. Catch up later?”
“You bet.” I go through the motions of changing and getting ready for my set. Usually, I can zone out, focus on the actions, and shut myself off from what I’m about to do. Tonight, I can’t slow my mind. Tate’s question keeps coming back.Why do you do it?He doesn’t understand. But I guess I don’t understand anymore either. And that’s why I couldn’t give him an answer. I was wild. My self-esteem was shit. Being seen, being wanted…gave me a sense of power.
“Fuck.” I cover my face, my heart thrashing against my ribcage.
“Mindy, Russell is yelling for you!”
“Yep, coming.” I stare at myself in my mirror.Pull it together, Parks. You got this.You don’t have a choice.
When I enter the hall, Tate is leaning against the wall with Mary yapping in his ear. I roll my eyes and continue walking. He breaks free and steps in line next to me. “Not to sound like a broken record but stay scarce.” I walk faster.
“Where the hell have you been?” Russell barks as I step onto the set.
“Sorry. Where do you want me?” I ask, looking at the makeshift bedroom.
“Who the fuck is this?”
I look at Russell. “Who, Tate? He’s my brother. In town visiting. Thought I’d bring him to work so he can see what I do.”
“Yourbrother?”
“Yep. Gets his size from our dad.”
Russell eyes Tate suspiciously when Chad starts yammering about being ready. “Whatever. Just make sure he stays off-set. This isn’t ‘take your kid to work day.’ I want you on your hands and knees. He’s going to be behind you. Keep your hair down. I’ve already given him instructions. Just go with it.”
I salute him and climb onto the bed, dropping my robe.
“Mmm, missed you,” Chad says as we get situated.
“Can’t say the same.” Ignoring him, I focus on my breathing, going to the place I created in my mind to separate myself from the situation. I’ve done this endless times, but I’ve never felt the shift in the air, knowing Tate is watching from afar.
“Mindy, relax. You look tense,” Russell calls out.
“Yeah, babe. Relax. You know I’ll take care of you.” I want to punch him in the face.Inhale through my nose, out through my mouth.Chad presses himself against me.In through my nose, out through my mouth.“Looking forward to you upping your contract so I can finally slide into this tight pussy, Minds.” He wraps his hand around my throat, pressing his thumb against my pulse.
Please don’t hurt me.
I want you to spread for me. Soon, you will.
