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All my life, my father has protected me from killers, but he can’t do the same with the monsters inside my head.
My sleep paralysis made its debut right after my mother’s death and returns during stressful times.
It’s the same situation with each episode.
A shadowed man appears in my doorway.
Sometimes, he enters the bedroom.
Sometimes, he stands at my bedside.
Other times, he stays in place, just fucking terrifying me.
I switch on the light and ease out of bed. There’s no going back to sleep.
My body shakes as I stare at the doorway while restlessly pacing the room.
It’s not real, Gigi.
Not fucking real.
Without thinking, I pick up the burner and call Antonio.
This isn’t your typical cliché drunk call.
No, it’s anI’m half asleep, and I need to hear a voice that puts me at easecall.
It’s four a.m. in Italy, which makes it eleven p.m. in New York, fitting our usual call schedule anyway.
I hold my breath while listening to the ringing.
“Hello?” he answers. His voice is restrained, and he doesn’t attempt to hide the tension.
If I wasn’t freaking out about my paralysis, I’d shut my eyes to mourn the days he always added princess to his greetings.
“My father is marrying Natalia.” I slap a hand over my mouth.
That wasn’t supposed to be our conversation starter, but honestly, I never had one. And no way am I telling him I can’t sleep because I see evil shadows in my bedroom.
A moment of silence passes before he says, “Yeah, I know.”
He sounds so numb and callous.
So this is what it feels like to fall in love with someone and then become complete strangers.
“How?” I ask.
“He told my father.”
“Of course he did.” I keep staring at the doorway while slumping against the edge of the bed.
I’m proud of myself for maintaining my composure. I’ve never broken down and told my family about my sleep paralysis. No way am I opening up to a man who’s becoming nothing more than a short chapter in my tale.
“I’ll miss you, Antonio,” I say so softly that I’m unsure if he’ll hear me.
“Stay safe, Giana.” He sighs. “This isn’t our end.”
I end the call when a tear slips down my cheek and lower myself to the floor. Hugging my knees to my chest, I stare at the doorway.
