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I close my eyes and try to push away the pain as I take a deep breath, trying to respond to Bree as calmly as I can. Her firm grip on my hand helps more than she knows.
“His heart stopped beating in the ambulance. They had to do CPR to bring him back.” I shudder at the last part, letting out asigh as I continue. “He took a bullet to the abdomen. They said it was still in there, and they’d have to go in to retrieve it, and stop any bleeding while they were in there. They suspected damage to his spleen, and some of his bowel, but they won’t know for sure until they get inside and have a look. He lost a lot of blood.”
Tears stream down my face as I voice the words that have been tumbling around my brain since they were told to me, here in this awful room. Bree’s silent beside me, and just for a moment, I feel so much respect for the strong leader.
How can she sit here, waiting to hear about the man she loves, and not have tears rolling down her face like I do? She’s a far stronger person than I am.
“What about Liam?” I ask, sending out a prayer to anyone that will listen, hoping the man I see as my brother-in-law is safe.
“Liam lost consciousness as soon as the bullet hit him. They think it’s lodged in his chest, but there may be more than one. His lung collapsed, and he stopped breathing. The pressure was too much on his heart, it stopped beating before we even left the club. The paramedics intubated him and did a chest tube in the ambulance, and once he could breathe, they were able to restart his heart.
“When we got to the hospital, they had a cardiothoracic specialist waiting. They have to remove the bullet, and hope it hasn’t done too much damage to any of the major organs in his chest. Even if he pulls through the surgery, because of how long his brain was without oxygen, they have no idea if he will ever wake up.”
Bree recites every word like she’s the specialist, giving the family the news for the first time. It’s only when she says the last sentence that her voice cracks. A sob fills the air, and it takes me a few seconds to realise the noise is coming from me.
“I’m so sorry, Bree,” I sob, pulling the redhead into my arms as I hold her tight.
Only when my arms are around her, her face tucked into the crook of my neck, does the young woman finally break. She sobs hysterically, her body trembling from all the pent up emotion that she’s finally letting free. Bree holds onto me like I’m her lifeline, and I grip her back just as tightly.
I don’t know how long we hold each other like that, but we cry until our eyes run dry. Bree pulls away first, wiping her hand over her face.
She reaches over to the low coffee table in front of us, and picks up the packet of tissues that are in the middle of all the magazines. She hands me one, and begins to wipe all the tears and snot from her face, leaving just the red, puffy blotches behind, that I’m sure I also have.
“I don’t know how Liam did this. The waiting is torture,” Bree mutters.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“I forget you haven’t been around the whole time. I was actually kidnapped on the day that should have been my wedding day. It’s a long, not too pleasant story that I will tell you one day. It’s actually how I met Shane, so it does have a bit of a happy ending. But, while I was kidnapped, I wasn’t exactly taken care of. When the guys found me, I’d been stabbed, and it was touch and go for a while.
“Liam was in a hospital waiting room, just like this one, doing the exact same thing we’re doing now—waiting to see if I survived,” Bree explains, a faraway look on her face.
“I had no idea you nearly died,” I mumble.
Then again, knowing the Doughtys, I suspect this isn’t the first time any of them have nearly died. That thought alone scares the shit out of me. I don’t think I can do this again.
I’ve always known Evan would end up taking over from his father, and that the jobs he does are less than legal—dangerous even. I just never thought my life would consist of times where I’d be sat in a small hospital room, praying he makes it through. This is a once in a lifetime experience that I never want to repeat, and if—when—Evan makes it through this, we need to have a very serious conversation about his future, as I can’t survive doing this again.
“Yeah, I actually lost my first baby then too,” she admits.
I look over at the young redhead, who suddenly looks so much younger than she is. Her lips are turned into a sad smile, her eyes closed. I squeeze her hand again, not really knowing what to say to something like that.
“I’m so sorry, Bree.”
“Now that I’ve experienced this from both sides, I can confidently say that I’d much rather be the gunshot victim right now. Getting shot, being the patient, and almost dying is so much easier than being stuck in this fucking drab waiting room, feeling so bloody helpless, just waiting to hear if I’m about to lose the love of my life.
“The pain of a gunshot is nothing compared to this feeling. I’ve never felt so helpless and empty. I can’t lose Liam. I don’t even know what my life would look like without him in it,” she sobs, wiping a few stray tears away as quickly as they fall.
“At least Liam knows that you love him. I never got the chance to tell Evan. I mean, I think he knew. I told him that I never really stopped loving him, even after all the shit we went through. But since we got back together, I’ve not said those three words to him.
“This will probably sound kind of stupid, but I was waiting for the right moment. It didn’t have to be some elaborate grand gesture. I just wanted it to be the right time. I wanted him toknow unequivocally that when I say those words, I mean them. Now I may never get the chance to tell him.”
The words taste like ash on my lips, and as soon as they are out in the world, a fissure cracks through my heart. I’m so fucking stupid. I was waiting for the right moment, thinking we had more time, and in doing so, I may have missed my chance. I can’t have Evan die not knowing how I feel.
Bree reaches over with her free hand and tilts my chin back, lifting my head so my gaze latches onto her silver eyes.
“Evan knows how you feel. Youwillget the chance to tell him yourself. Our men are strong, but more than that, they’re possessive assholes. There’s no way they’re not fighting right now to get back to us.”
I chuckle as she calls them both possessive assholes. It’s true. I know Evan would never leave me, if he can help it. But I also know, we don’t always get to choose our happy endings.
