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McKenna rushes into Finn’s arms, pulling him as close as she can with the bump in their way. He presses kisses all over her cheeks, while his hands roam over her stomach in an incredibly intimate way.
Kian scoops Freya up, and pulls her onto his lap effortlessly, and I can hear him soothing her as she sobs in his arms.
Ryleigh storms in like a force to be reckoned with, a fierce look on her face that soon crumbles when she sees her family. Tears well in her eyes as she throws herself into Shane’s arms. He catches her just in time, swinging her around as she clings to him.
As I look at their outpouring of love, I see Shane has a few cuts and bruises of his own. Not to mention he appears to be holding his arm at a funny angle, wincing whenever Ry puts too much pressure on it. Maybe he was injured during his raid on The Baron’s property?
I haven’t even bothered to ask how the other raids went, or if anyone else was injured. I don’t think I have the mental capacity to deal with any more information right now, and I suspect Bree feels the same. She will get an update when the time is right.
Von is the final person to enter the room. She walks in with all the class and decorum you’d expect from someone in her role,but it only takes one look at her face to see she’s barely holding it together. Her eyes are red and swollen, clearly from crying before she came in. Her brow is pulled tight, like it’s taking all her effort not to cry more. Though she’s holding her head high, I can see it is with great effort.
As soon as the door closes behind her, and she sees the tears of her children, it all becomes too much. Tears stroll down her cheeks, and she holds her hand to her chest as she tries to catch her breath. Within a second, Desmond is by her side, pulling her into his arms. She accepts his hug for only a few minutes before she pulls away and turns to her children.
As Von works her way around the room, checking on her children, I sink back into my chair, drowning out all the noise. A few people check on me, but I simply tell them I’m fine and zone back out again. I don’t think I can deal with telling them the truth right now.
A few minutes later, I feel someone slide into the seat beside me. They don’t speak, and when the silence gets the better of me, I look up. Desmond is sitting beside me, looking so much older than he normally does. The black circles under his eyes, and his puffy cheeks give away how stressed he is.
He’s spent most of his life making people think he doesn’t give a shit about his family. For most of my childhood, I believed that Desmond Doughty wasn’t capable of love. He and Von had an arranged marriage that was solely created so that Desmond could produce Doughty heirs. He never wanted kids, and once he had them, he only ever saw them as pawns in his game for power.
I now know that was all a lie. An image he presented to the world so that their value would diminish. If people thought they meant nothing to Desmond, they’d be less likely to use them against him.
As I look at him now, the pain and fear written plainly on his face, it’s clear to see just how much he really loves his kids.
“They are both going to be alright,” he whispers eventually, after the silence drags on for too long.
I look over at him, and I’m not sure if he’s saying that for my benefit or his. “I hope so.” I really fucking do.
“You really love him, don’t you?” he asks, his bright blue eyes that remind me so much of Kellan’s stare back at me.
“I really do.” I don’t know what else to say, but it’s the truth.
“I can’t even begin to apologise for the time I stole from you both. I know I’ve explained myself, and I can’t take it back now, but I want you to know, I genuinely believed I was doing the right thing at the time. I know now that all I did is create more heartache and pain for you both.” There’s a sadness to his voice, but I can also hear the sincerity that rings in each word.
“I hope we get more time together to make up for what we lost,” I reply calmly.
As much as I want to be mad at Desmond for stealing those ten years from us, I know deep down it wouldn’t matter. I could live a hundred years, and die lying in Evan’s arms, and we still wouldn’t have had long enough together. I will always crave more.
“You will get your happily ever after.” He gives me a tight smile before placing his hand on mine. I turn it over and squeeze his palm, knowing he needs just as much support as I do.
“I never got the chance to tell him I love him. But when he wakes up, I’m going to make sure I tell him every minute of every day.”
Desmond’s smile widens, and just for a second, he looks so much like Evan that my heart hurts. “He already knows, but I’m sure he will enjoy hearing it all the same.”
I take a deep breath, feeling a little lighter after talking to Desmond. Even though he’s still a little scary to me, there’s something so simple about interacting with him.
Even though he’s known for lying and manipulating, I’ve never felt like that around him. I’ve always got the feeling he’s been open and honest with me, which I guess is why I’m a little more relaxed around him, as I know he’s not going to baby me. No matter what, he’s going to tell me the truth, even if it hurts.
After a while, the room settles down. Once all the tears have been shed, and everyone has been comforted, we’re left with the silence. All we can do is wait and hope.
As a family, we’re not people who deal with helplessness well, and the overwhelming feeling that we aren’t doing anything—or that we can’t—makes each of us feel useless.
I’m not surprised when a short time later, Bree, using her leader voice, addresses the room. “I can’t sit in silence anymore, just doing nothing. I’d like to get an update on how all the raids went, but I’m aware that not everyone here will want to be part of that. I’m also aware I’m not the only person who is sitting here waiting to hear about the man I love. So, if anyone objects, I’m willing to listen.”
Bree’s eyes turn to me as she speaks, and I know in her own way she’s asking for my permission to have the meeting. She’s asking if I want the room to remain in silence, clinging to the belief Evan and Liam will be okay, or if we can distract ourselves for a moment, in the hope that time will pass by quicker.
Honestly, it’s not even a question. “I’m happy for the update. Anything that gets me from sitting here in silence, watching the seconds tick by at an agonisingly slow pace.”
Bree nods, seeming pleased with my answer, before she addresses everyone else in the room. “Does anyone else want to leave? Or you can just sit to the side and not be part of the meeting? I completely understand whatever you all choose.”
