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The black silk drops low enough to display her cleavage, and stops so high up her thigh that I’m sure if she bends over even slightly, you will be able to see her ass. Yet she’s still wearing more than the others. It’s clear there’s something different about her, like she’s higher in rank than they are in some way.
Her lips curve into a smile, though there’s something in the way her eyes flash that makes me think this girl knows more than she’s letting on. “My Master—The Sheriff—asked me to show you to your table.”
She points over to one of the tables near the front of the stage. Before we can say anything, she begins walking, indicating for us to follow her, which we do.
A million things are whirling around my mind, as I try to think of something to say to this girl, who keeps giving me knowing glances, but I’m drawing a blank. Luckily, Dec isn’t. “You’re Lilly, right?”
The name rings a bell, and I rack my brain as I try to think of where I’ve heard it before. “Yes, I am,” she confirms with a smile, before turning to look at me. “You aren’t how I pictured you.”
Her voice is soft, and there’s a sadness there that speaks of the hard life she obviously has. I’m a little startled that she even knows who I am, let alone knows enough to picture what I might be like. “How do you mean?”
She lets out a soft chuckle. “I’ve been here with Teigan for months, and we’ve grown quite close. There aren’t a lot of fun activities to do when you’re locked up, so we talk. She told me all about you and the relationship you had.”
I can’t hold back the groan that escapes as this girl’s gaze assesses me. At the mention of her being with Tee, that’s when I finally recognise her name. “You’re the girl The Sheriff keeps threatening to punish if Tee doesn’t do as she’s told.”
Lilly nods her head slowly, her expression turning sombre. “I am. Though I have told Teigan that it doesn’t matter if I’m punished for her. I just want to know she’s safe.”
“That’s very kind of you,” Declan says, when I can’t find the words to thank the girl myself.
“Teigan is my best friend here, and she deserves a better life. She gave up hope of being saved a long time ago, while I still have a little bit of hope left. I believe my guys will come for me, and I’m holding on to that,” she says, taking in a deep breath as she smiles at the mention of ‘her guys,’—whatever that means.
Startled by her words, I can’t help the sentence that blurts out next. “She lost all hope? You mean, she didn’t believe anyone would come and save her?”
Lilly winces, like she may have said something she wasn’t supposed to. “Tee has been alone for a while. She doesn’t think there’s anyone out there who cares enough about her to try and save her.”
“But she mentioned me?” I ask. I have no fucking clue why I’m poking this particular festering wound, or what the hell I’m hoping to get out of it, but the words tumble out all the fucking same.
“She did,” Lilly replies with a knowing grin. “We play this game where I make her think about the alternative ‘what if’ reality. It’s basically where you picture one pivotal moment in your life, and instead of choosing the path you did, you make another choice. This will lead you down a completely different path, and that’s your ‘what if’ reality. Whenever I ask what hers is, it’s always about you.”
There’s a sadness at the end, as she no doubt thinks about how all our lives would be different if we could do that one pivotal moment all over again, and this time do it differently. I’m sure Teigan’s moment is the same as mine.
“She thought of a world where we were together?” I ask, the words coming out barely above a whisper, and my heart aches as I speak.
I’ve spent a long fucking time trying tonotthink about that life. What’s the point of dreaming of something that can never happen? My life is the way it is, and there’s no changing that. I can’t go back, so there’s no point torturing myself over it.
Teigan left me. She broke my heart and made me a shell of the person I thought I could be with her. I stopped living that day and focused on just surviving. Making plans with her was the only time I ever let myself dream about a future that wasn’t controlled by my father.
She tempted me into this ideal fucking fantasy world, where I could be anything I wanted to be, and I would be with her. She showed me how good life could truly be, then she blew the fantasy to smithereens and walked away without a second glance.
For a short period of time, I saw the world in bright colour, lit up by my angel. Now, I’m surrounded by various shades of black, and I can’t even remember what the other world looked like.
Sometimes it comes to me in my dreams, when I have no control over what I see. And for just a fraction of a second when I wake up, before I open my eyes and the world returns to normal, I turn towards the side of the bed she used to occupy, and I imagine her there.
I think of how warm she used to feel, how her cheek would press against my chest, listening to my heart as she softly snored against my neck.
I can almost feel her silky hair making my skin tickle as I pull her closer to me, never wanting to let her go. But then I wake up, and I push all stupid thoughts out of my mind.
Lilly clears her throat, and it’s obvious I missed whatever she said. “You were together in all her ‘what ifs’,” she says, giving me a tight smile that doesn’t reach her eyes.
I don’t quite know what to say, and Lilly obviously realises this. “Make sure you win tonight, and promise me when you do that you will take care of her. She will fight you, and claim that she can look after herself. Even though she’s a fighter, she’s a lot more broken inside than she will ever let on. But I think you are the one person who will be able to help her heal.”
I shake my head, ignoring the way my heart races at the possibilities this strange girl’s words might bring. “It’s not like that with us anymore. I’m just here to help her, that’s all.”
This time when Lilly lets out a humourless laugh, it’s loud enough to startle both me and Dec. “Men are such idiots,” she chunters under her breath, but loud enough for us to hear. I want to be offended on behalf of my gender, but she continues before I can. “I don’t know you well enough to know if you’re genuinely an idiot, or if you’re just lying to yourself. But I don’t have too much time right now, so let me get you up to speed before you hurt yourself.”
She looks around dramatically, her eyes widening when she notices The Sheriff has just walked into the room. She freezes, before letting out a sigh. Then she starts talking quickly, and I struggle to keep up.
“Get your head out of your ass. Nobody goes through all this hassle for an ex. I know you and Teigan have a very fucked up past, and I suspect you will both need to have some very long conversations to hash that shit out, before either of you can move on. But that is in the past.
