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“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” Bree says, reassuring me that this decision is completely mine to make.
Desmond shocks me by addressing me directly. “Teigan, I know you got into this mess because of me, and that I’m the one that got you tangled up with Whitlock in the first place. I also know that, even though he didn’t show it in the best way, he tried to shield you from the worst of what was happening before you were taken to Club Crimson. So, I understand if you have mixed feelings towards him.”
Evan’s chair grates across the floor as he pushes it back with such force when he leans over the table, slamming his fist down hard enough to shake it.
“Mixed fucking feelings. What the fuck are you going on about? If anything, we should be talking about whether she wants to punish you as well, old man.”
I can feel the anger vibrating through Evan, as he shoots daggers at his father. I try to squeeze his hand to calm him down, but it doesn’t work. “Evan!” I shout, grabbing his attention.
He turns to face me, his eyes softening just slightly when he looks at my startled expression. “What?” he grumbles, looking like a naughty child who’s about to be told off.
“Don’t talk to your father like that.” Before I’m able to say anything more, I see Desmond shaking his head, cutting me off. I thought now, in front of all his family, would be the perfect time to have this conversation, but it would appear he doesn’t agree.
I shrug my shoulders and give him a discreet nod, keeping my eyes fixed on Evan, who still looks furious.
I let out a sigh, and try to explain as best I can without divulging Desmond’s story. “He’s right when he says I didn’t suffer half of what the other girls did. I wouldn’t say he protected me out of any sort of loyalty or kindness. He saw value in me.
“Whereas, I wanted to help the other girls, and was willing to risk myself to save them. And because I was there, you came to rescue me, and all the other women and children that were stuck in that hell hole could be saved. You are making steps to close down the flesh trade, and a lot of that wouldn’t have been possible without me being there.”
“I don’t give a shit about anyone else. I didn’t do any of it to help others. I did it for you,” he shouts, oblivious to the stares of his family around us.
“I know you did, and I am so fucking grateful. Although my time with Whitlock wasn’t as horrible as it could have been, when I was transferred to The Sheriff, it was. I saw what life was like for all the other people being held by them, and I was even more sure that I wanted to make them all pay,” I tell him, tears welling in my eyes as I see how hurt he is by the decision I made long ago. I didn’t even know he still cared back then, or that he would come for me. I just wanted to help the others.
His face cracks, and I see the moment his anger dissolves as his shoulders slump slightly. “We will make them pay,” he agrees, before adding, “but you don’t have to be part of it. You’ve done enough. We can take it from here.”
I try to give him a smile, but it doesn’t quite reach my eyes. “I know you will take them all out for me, but… I need to be part of it. I need to slay my own demons, so I can take back a little of what they took from me. Whitlock is the perfect place to start.”
I try to make him understand. I’m not doing this for revenge, or for some blood lust. I’m doing it because I need to. It’s my way of taking back just a little bit of the control they stolefrom me. Punishing them for all the times they punished and humiliated me. Holding them accountable for their choices and actions.
Evan lets out a huff, but his jaw softens into the hint of a smile. “I’m not happy, but I won’t stand in your way. If you need this, and you’re sure, then okay.”
“Okay?” I ask, not entirely sure I heard him right.
He lets out a laugh. “Yes, okay.” Evan squeezes my hand reassuringly, and the rest of the meeting falls away.
While Bree goes over the plan for the next day, I’m only half listening. The rest of me is focused on the feel of Evan’s hand in mine, the way he can’t take his eyes off me, and the confidence he has in my decision. He may not be happy with my choice, but the fact he’s willing to stand by and support me means the world.
Ithought after we reached a mutual understanding at the meeting that things would go back to normal, but it didn’t. After the meeting concluded, Evan went back to avoiding me. In fact, I didn’t see him at all until the time came for us both to get in the car and drive to Bree’s warehouse.
Sitting in the car together, so close, I can almost feel his arm brushing against mine, is hard, but the silence is deafening. I want to snap at him, to ask him why the hell he’s back to avoiding me and giving me the silent treatment, but if I’m being honest, I don’t have the energy to fight with him right now.
Although I’m confident in my decision to be part of this, I’m still nervous as hell. Bringing up the past at the meeting was triggering for me, and I was plagued by nightmares so badly, I only got a couple of hours of sleep.
I’ve used way more foundation and concealer than I would normally bother with in an attempt to hide the black rings undermy eyes. I didn’t want Evan to see them and think I regret my decision.
Though, right now, that doesn’t seem to be a problem, as he hasn’t even looked at me long enough to see the black circles, even if I hadn’t covered them. His gaze is so fixed on the road in front, he almost looks like a fucking statue. Other than to change gear, he barely fucking moves, and it’s driving me crazy.
The silence is suffocating, but it’s the chemistry sizzling between us that has me on edge. I don’t know whether I want to kiss him or hit him, and I’m sure he feels the same.
I try to focus on what’s about to happen, but, as always, Evan consumes my every thought.
It’s not until we finally pull into a large industrial warehouse, as he shuts off the car engine, that he finally acknowledges I’m even in the car with him. Although he doesn’t look at me, his words are directed my way. “You don’t have to do this.”
They’re barely above a whisper, but in amongst all the silence, he may as well have shouted. “I know, but I kinda do. I have to do this for me.”
He lets out a big sigh, his shoulders sagging slightly, looking so at odds with his perfectly put together black suit. “If, at any point, you want to leave the room, just call for me and I will get you out. Don’t try to be a hero.”
I can’t help but smile at how caring he sounds. He may look like a tough, cold bastard, but the boy I loved with the sweet, kind heart is still in there somewhere, no matter how hidden away he is. “Thank you.”
