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Really, I don’t even bring women here or not often. It’s usually their place or a hotel. I’m aware my size can intimidate, especially with the kind of power games I like to play.
I’m halfway to her room to apologize for my less-than-stellar behavior when she comes out.
I stop in the hall and stare at her. This is Karlee diminished. She’s changed again, the least Karlee I’ve seen. She’s got cut-off sweats on and a white T-shirt. No fucking bra because her nipples are visible. It’s not the fact she’s barefoot that makes her diminished or the normal clothes. Or even her hair in a low ponytail.
It’s her.
She’s less than her vibrant, pain-in-the-ass self.
And that’s my doing.
Fuck.
“I’ll leave you alone,” she says, not quite looking at me. “I got your message today at school. But if you don’t mind moving, I’m going to grab a snack. I’ve got a lot of work to do, maybe an all-nighter.
I nod. “Good.” I push the word out because it doesn’t want to come.
But even as I go to move away, I stop. The pain in her face, the hurt, it’s real.
Like I made her feel wrong and dirty somehow when she isn’t.
“Karlee, I did mean it about us not doing that again, but it was fucking stellar. You didn’t do a thing wrong, and you did nothing I didn’t want.” I take a breath. “I’m a grown man. If I wanted it to stop, I could have, so I’m sorry if I tried to make it sound like you were at fault. That’s me for not manning up and just taking what you offered.”
“But you didn’t want to, did you? I pushed?—”
“No. you didn’t.” I take hold of her shoulders gently. “No man, least of all me, gets to say that shit to you, and I did. It was cowardly, pathetic, and wrong. I’m fucking twice your size. Believe me when I say I could have stopped you.”
She looks up at me. “I’m not sure if I should be thankful or feel insulted I couldn’t break you down into a gibbering mess.”
“You did that. But . . .” I stop, try again. “I could have ended it. The thing was, I’m at fault. I don’t do a fucking thing I don’twant to do. And I wanted to. With you. Too much. I shouldn’t have, but I did.”
Karlee shifts, her soft mouth parting, and damn if I don’t want to kiss her. Damn if I don’t want to slide my hand under her shirt to touch her tits or rip down those fucking pants and bare her cunt.
I want her on my tongue, my head between her thighs, and . . . and I can’t do that.
She’s electric, makes the air sing, and I’m touching her soft, heated flesh. My resolve is a crumbling thing all over again.
“So, you just don’t?—”
“Stop.”
She takes a step closer, and I can’t help it. We’ve already had sex once. What’s another time? Isn’t that a pissant excuse I’m using not to touch her? And I’m failing.
I ease her into my arms, and she clings to me. Her heart thudding so hard I can feel it pound through my veins.
“It’s not that I don’t want you, Karlee,” I murmur. “It’s I don’t fucking know what I’m doing and that I know we shouldn’t.”
“So, forget all that.”
I would if I could.
“I’m not a man who plays by the rules, Karlee, but I have to push you away.”
Her mouth brushes my chest, searing my skin beneath the shirt. “No, you don’t.”
“You’re my best friend’s sister, and I’m too old for you.”
“Bullshit.”
