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I hold my breath, cradling the weight of my cast with my good hand.
It seems to take an eternity.
I swallow as he climbs out and stands, tall and stoic, on the other side of the road. So close, and yet it still feels like there’s a gulf between us.
Perhaps we are our own worst enemies?
As soon as the thought strikes me, I take off at a dead run.
A car beeps its horn as I run into the road like a mad woman, and Ciaran curses out loud.
It wasn’t that close a call, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I acknowledge that I surely scared the driver. I’m not thinking about him though, only about getting to Ciaran.
As if my foolhardy deed spurns him into action, he crosses from his own side in long, hurried strides, scooping me up as soon as he gets to me and carrying me back, not just to the safety of the pavement, but down the steps into my apartment where he slams the door behind me and presses me against it.
“Jesus God!” He spits the epithet with wild eyes and lowers his forehead to mine, closing his eyes for a second while he regains his equilibrium.
Then his mouth is on mine, and whatever misgivings I had are gone, swept up in the tide of passion that engulfs us both. He kisses me fiercely, his tongue plunging into my mouth, dueling with mine in an intense dance of pleasure as his hands roam over my body. His fingers trace the curve of my hips, the small of my back, and the sensitive skin at the back of my neck like he can't get enough. Like he’s trying to assure himself that I’m uninjured and whole.
My skin tingles where his fingers touch me, and I moan into his mouth, feeling the heat of his own passion and desire building within me.
He pulls away slightly, his eyes dark and intense as he looks down at me, his breath coming in ragged gasps. "You’ll be the feckin' death of me, woman," he whispers hollowly, his voice shaking. "I'd tan your damned backside if I wasn't so happy to see you."
“Maybe later then,” I whisper with far more sass than is probably appropriate at this moment. But as I look up at him, my heart pounding in my chest, I see the same hunger in his eyes that I feel inside me.
The same absolute relief.
He kisses me again with a deep and unyielding hunger, his tongue darting into my mouth, seeking, tasting, possessing. His hands are rough on my skin, but it's not a violence I mind. It’s more like he’s desperate not to let me go.
I grip his back, my nails digging into him as hard as his hands clutch at me. The pain and pleasure are one and the same, and I'm lost in it. I can feel the heat of his body against mine, the hardness of his muscles, the strength of his arms wrapped around me. It's intoxicating.
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pull him closer, feeling the urgent pounding of his heart against my own. He groans as I arch my back, my hips thrusting up to meet his. The words he once said echo in my mind – ‘I’ll consume everything you give me.’ So, I do. I give myself to him fully and willingly.
Our bodies move in a dance we've been practicing all our lives, and we know each other's steps by heart.
I want him, I need him, I love him. It's a heady mix of emotions that threatens to overwhelm me.
It's a powerful thing, our connection, our passion. It's everything and nothing all at once.
But as much as I want him, as much as I need him, I also need to know that there's no turning back after this. I can’t let him in, only to find he’s going to walk straight back out again once he’s taken his fill.
I just can’t survive that again.
Chapter Forty-One
CIARAN
Everything within me calms and settles into its rightful place as soon as I have Maricela in my arms. The strain of these past weeks where I’ve been so antsy is suddenly soothed away by the feel of her lips on mine.
Fuck! Why did I leave it so long?
My relief is short-lived though, when Maricela pulls away from me.
“Wait, Ciaran…. We need to talk.”
Those four terrifying words.
Steeling myself as I feel everything good in my life start to drift away, I step back and cast my gaze around the room for somewhere to sit.
