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“There’s a lot more that happened during that time, but in a nutshell, I made some very poor decisions, said some regrettable things to the people I love, quit my finance job and my fiancé of four months left me.”
Sasha listened quietly, her eyes never leaving mine as I unloaded the past 5 years of my life on her. Something I hadn’t done with anyone, not even my therapist. I wondered if it was too much to tell a virtual stranger, but something about her made me want to be vulnerable.
After a few moments of pause, she finally spoke.
“Damn. That is a fucked-up story, Ethan. I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend. Your parents should have been more supportive of your decision.”
I nodded, gazing back into her deep, brown eyes.
“Thank you for sharing that with me. Is that why you’re in Ireland?” She asked.
I sighed. “Yep. Figured a couple months sabbatical with some of my closest friends would give me some perspective, closure, hell, I don’t know, something to get my life back on track since things fell apart.”
She nodded understandingly.
I turned back to face her, curiosity taking over.
“So, tell me, what’s your fucked-up story Sasha? There must be something you’re running from that has you caravaning around the world.”
She smiled. “That’s for another day, Ethan.”
Chapter 9: Ethan
Nine months earlier...
“Are you even listening to me?” Beth’s voice cut through the tension, her frustration evident as she stood with her hands on her hips, staring at me.
“Yes, you said I missed the cake tasting today,” I replied, my annoyance matching hers.
She sighed, rolling her eyes. I was annoyed too, but I could see the sheer exasperation on her face and I knew I was pushing the limits of her patience.
“This is the third wedding planning appointment I’ve had to reschedule. How is it that you continue to miss these?”
“Is it really that important for me to come?” I asked, growing irritated.
“Ethan, I’ve been trying to plan this wedding for four months now, and every appointment I’ve set up, you’ve managed to make up some sort of excuse to miss. I’m beginning to think you don’t even want to get married…” her voice trailed off.
“Beth, that’s not fair. I just don’t have the time to step out from work to attend these appointments. Work is really busy right now and I'm under a lot of pressure to perform.”
“Work is always busy for you,” she shot back. “All you seem to care about these days is work.”
“I’m doing this for us and for our future.”
“For us?!” she shouted, her anger escalating. “Ethan, I don’t care about any of this.” Her arms gestured around the small condo wildly.
“I never cared about any of this. I just care about you.” Her voice softened. “While all you’ve cared about is trying to prove your dad wrong and escape from facing the reality of what happened.”
“That’s not fair, Beth.”
“I’m right, and you know it. You continue to put the man on a pedestal that he doesn’t belong on, and it’s controlled you since you were a child. You’ll never be satisfied because he’ll never be satisfied with anything you do unless it’s joining the family business. Instead of being proud of your accomplishments and the honorable decision you made to enlist, you’re constantly focused on finding a way to show him you’ve succeeded without him, as if enlisting in the Army wasn’t already enough.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Beth."
She sighed as she walked over to the couch, sunk down and placed her head in her hands. “I can’t do this anymore, Ethan. I’ve known it for a while, but I thought I’d keep going, thinking maybe things would change. Maybe my mind and your heart would change.”
“What do you mean by this?” I asked, a tinge of worry in my voice.
“Marry you,” she responded, her face resolute. “Ethan, we probably should have never gotten engaged in the first place."
